RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   "The End Of Dayz" please leave feedback (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=154861)

iamthatdude87 10-12-04 07:04 PM

"The End Of Dayz" please leave feedback
 
"The End OF Dayz"

Come before he...To see...That these are the end of dayz
The end of human existence...The time to go before the Lord
Are you ready to see the after life you know you never explored?
Or do u think you'll be ignored and set ablazed?
Sent to Hell the place where life of crime doesn't pay
When you approch the almighty throne and face to face with the one...
The one who has power to send u to the place thats hotter than the sun
Will you be in the Book?!...Or will u be sent down cuz of your evil ways?
You need to stay...You dont have to die your second death
Praise Jesus!! and he might let you have just one mo' breath
But be aware that the final dayz are comin' so be ready and pray
Pray to Jesus...Let him know that you wanna be born again
Tell him your sorry...for all those times you comitted sins
But if you go back on your word...Remember these are your end of dayz...


______________________________________
This is a Sonnet i just wrote up....its about how the end of days are coming and how jesus is coming for us and how what you do in life reflects on where you go to Heaven or Hell....o and if u think some parts dont rhyme....apparently you dont know what a rhyme scheme for a sonnet is....nuff sed....leave sum feed back....and leave a link if you want feed back

Yvonne 10-13-04 03:25 AM

wow...thats really reflexive...nice 1 therre..keep it up ;)

fluidmoon 10-13-04 01:03 PM

nice poem,,i liked the content and the vocab you used,,raised some questions and made me think, nice job man...1

iamthatdude87 10-13-04 07:33 PM

thanks uppin for feed back

kRuCiAl 10-14-04 07:06 PM

yo nice piece ecko.....its great and all but the thing i wasnt relly feelin is the topic.....its kina played out......dont get me wrong the poem in itself is good but just the topic wasntall that interesting.....still i give it a 9/10....i wish i could write shit like tha yo.....stay up homes.....


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:10 AM.