BkBrawla vs Still_Remain
 

Battle Rules:

6 - 30 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Topic-In The Kitchen...

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 10-15-04 at 05:17 PM

Must drop verse in 180 minutes after check in.

Closed - Expired / old battle win

Still_Remain has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-15-04 02:18 PM.

BkBrawla has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-15-04 02:18 PM.

“help…”
By: Still_Remain

The kitchen, is where family are supposed to gather and eat,
Not get rushed into the corner to meet a fist and begin to get beat,
Well this is how my kitchen is, when people get pissed,
I’m always pinned in the corner arms up emotions missed,
Heart crumbles, I thought family’s stuck together?
Through thick and thin, our love was weathered.
We never came to be, what you with you had and see,
We were the exact opposite of the beautiful family’s on TV,
Agreed over nothing, but something, that I was an accident,
The best muscle… my heart is currently dead and bent,
God sent? Not at all, this wasn’t his call…
On the level of which I fall, isn’t right at all.
He comes for the door; I run and hit the floor,
Life’s never a bore, when you’re being hit and called a whore,
I duck down and crawl into the spot I find in the kitchen,
Will he find me here? I hope not, I’m wishin
Sweat rolls as my face swelters…
The cabinet where I hide… is my only shelter

One cold hearted night//
the wind quivers down my spine//
for some reason i couldnt sleep for this one night//

I heard the open and closed//
I picked out a smell of a cigarette it had brough nausious to my nose//
The cigarette stinks up his clothes//

As he walkin down the hallway limbering with an beer in his hand//
Hoping that he doesnt goes in the room and wake up my mother and start arguing again///

The hallway lights turn on iam hearing yelling and screaming//
i get up from the bed grabed a bat i have to break dis meeting

*As i open my room door iam feeling anger from head to toe*

Everystep i take,every breath i make,every move i make,every time i move the bat iam ready to make blood shead from his head//

*HE HITS MY MOTHER NOW HE'Z DEAD*

*I have the devil on my left shoulder,i have the angel on my right*

Devil: Break his neck, no regrets,hes alcoholic and hes disrespect

Angel: Please dont do it you dont want to be behind bars for this//
QUICKdont do what the sins telling you ,,pop in an video tape and watch the girl TITZ//

*SHAKES IT OFF*

*As iam walkin towards the mayham*

he looked dead at me "what u going to with that bat"//
i said "iam going to beat you make yo skull crack"//

HE ran in the kitchen as i followed him with no remourse
he pulls out an knife i run into him he sticks the knife up in my corpse//

I swung and hit his jaw now he is bleedin onto the cold hearted floor//
Beggin me dont do it no more//

As i stood upon him as he stared daring into my eyes//
knowing he dont see no sunshine//

*My mother-"STOP IT STOP IT"~!*

*As i look into the stranger eyes that boust to be an good farther mom on the phone callin the cops*


"you hurt my mother you made your death wish THIS IS THE FINAL DRAW"
As iam hearing sirens outside my door walking my mom towards the front door,i have evidence in my hand blood on dripping on the kitchen floor~!

THAT SHOULD DO IT~!

good.. only one thing

"he pulls out an knife i run into him he sticks the knife up in my corpse//"

a corpse is a dead body, you werent dead, therefore you're not a corpse.

O Shit My B Lol Anyway Uppin For Votes

Ok Stop Sleepin Let Da Votes Begin Come On Lets Get Some Votin

Voted For: Still_Remain

umm this was ok i guess...Brawla get rid of all the
"*/-*!" stuff cause it makes your verse look bad
and less enjoyable to read and harder as well..
you lacked creativity and emotion..Remain wins
because i felt that his was better and more complex
came with more creativity and emotion which u barely
had...practice a bit more and take some more time to think
of what your writting about and as well try to shorten your lines
dont stretch them out to much and those spaces in between
every line or 2 is pointless...elevate some more then try again
nice attempt though i give you props for that.

V/ Still_Remain

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