Morbid
 

A terse cacophony of silent laments...
Perched in plaudits of nervous vomit
I try and repent...
Merchant novice in search of promise
A hearse the topic...
Tendencies of a serotinous character...
Hailed in preposterous calibre
Dropping Excalibur...
An amateur coughing and mocking...
Now I'm lost in this massacre -
Of self with plans to escape
I'm silently upset...
Tryna be the best...
That I can be
Violently depressed
No breath in my chest...
Blood cold, sinuses decrept
Trapped in my head's castle..
Modern society's Macbeath
Eyes bleed to accept my doctrine...
Pierced pupils locked in a coffin
Often lost in my thoughts when..
I'm rotting from blotched sins
Now that I've lost faith all my thoughts fade to phosphates
No crossed aid...and the costs great......Im MorBid

Good: vocab and rhyming
Bad:Inconsistencies of lines
Decent:Emotion
Good work, though a tad confusing.

Poetry doesnt haver consistant lines....

i dont what your trying to say

these are not open mics........