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Ill-Grammatix vs Triple_N
Battle Rules:Triple_N vs Ill-Grammatix
Topical - 30 Lines Topic: Face to face with death No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Here's Our Line-up....as originally posted in The Definition forum GFX Metaphysik vs AutoMATIK™ Text SPuL vs L.I. willapeer vs ^Lucifer^ ..kontroverzey.. vs D-ICED Gkillaz vs Premanition Phat Mic vs FlOw InTeLLiGeNt Topical Triple_N vs Ill-Grammatix Goodluck Minimum posts to vote: 350 Check in by: 10-26-04 at 11:19 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
Triple_N has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-24-04 12:54 AM.
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Ill-Grammatix has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-24-04 07:27 PM.
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Face 2 Face With Death The Scene Of The Crime *The sounds of police and ambulance sirens are blaring... the paramedics are first on the scene followed closely by the fuzz... multiple conversations going on* [paramedics] "I don't think he's gonna make it; his vitals are fading fast! Get some oxygen! Next breath that he takes could be his last! He's bleeding fast... there's exit wounds... multiple lacerations! Take him in for surgery!" ... [chief of police] "and that other guy to the station! Question him until he breaks... I don't think his story will add up... Get forensics on the scene and then clean the rest of this crap up! Any witnesses?"... [random cop] "I'm sure, but there's no one willing to speak. The guy we took down to the station's got everyone kinda freaked." [chief] "Get some answers from these people and filter out all the lies. I'll make sure this bastard fries if this rookie officer dies!" The Emergency Room *Rookie cop being rushed to ER... doctors flying to and fro yelling instructions... last thoughts of a dying cop* How da hell he get the drop on me taking me by surprise? The only thing that I remember is that look in his eyes. Cruel and menacing; I flinch and felt my body had froze up... He lifts the toast up; the space between us just closed up. No time to react; I tried to duck and he grazed me... Laughin, steadily blastin... the blood starts to bathe me. Now they got me on this table with doctors trying to save me While my wife is in another room giving birth to our baby. What's crazy is I feel that the bastard is fucking grinning... The room's spinning... the light's dimming... my life's ending... The Precinct...3 Days Later *All questioning is inconclusive and the perp prepares to be released* [chief] "Ya free to go... remember you're under investigation. You skip town then this won't be the only charge you facing. I know in my heart you did it but since we don't have the proof omma pray that the Lord forgives me for turning a killer loose!" [perp] "Pathetic cops! You think that you could stop me if you tried? That look in ya eyes a giveaway... i got you petrified! Ya threats are a joke!" ... he picks his jacket up and starts to leave Stops dead in his tracks... then stumbles back... and finds it hard to breathe! Tears in her eyes... baby in hand... gun in the other *multiple gunshots fired* a murderer feels the wrath of a widow and of a mother! |
Pushed for time so I did a keystyle hope I still gotta chance..well goodluck to opponent.
I love the tress...and animals that surrounds my home Don't matter whos here with me I never feel as tho I'm alone I eat fruits an drink water daily from the near by pond I playfully yell into the wilderness to hear animals respond I love to run thru the wilderness with my children for fun I have potent sense of fulfillment, my wants are none I have a beautiful wife an children an food on my table Mother told me as a young'n to create a family thats stable An I have done so, all is left for me is to age as I raise My kids and when they grow up enjoy peaceful days With my wife by my side at all times, as we grow old But all of that changed the day me & my family was sold I haven't seen them in 8 years an I yearn their love But I fear the whoosing sound of a whip coming from above An striking my awaiting back's skin an slicing it like bread Til its ravished & shredded, colored red from where I bled But more & more I yearn to see if my family survived this Its time to take action for 8 yrs my faith has been in a wish So I'm packing some food & water for my desperate journey I fear no more, I'll find them at the risk of being on a gorney I'll steal a pass from master's labortory an leave at dark They won't search til morning, I'm safe if I hear no barks By day break, meaning dogs are to far to catch my sent An I need to find safe houses where selter & food is lent Darkness is finally approaching, I'm leaving at moon sight Tred softly with stealth, finding safety in shadows of night Sunset's going under horizon, What?..for me master is asking? "u didn't pick ya rashings, boy!!"..I fear nothing, for this is my last lashing I hear the whoosh of the whip as it descends to slap my back Eyes rolled back & I walked to light at the end of tunnel after that |
Voted For: Triple_N
wow~good topical you guys, damn this was close, because they are two different styles....but here goes.. Triple~this was beautifully written, and it flowed very well, great vocabulary and lyrical content, this took a turn as well,nice twist at the end,i wasnt expecting that, dope overall... Ill Grammatix~your verse was very imaginative, good story line and vocabulary, loved the way you set it up and followed through smooth with the content,i feel you both in these verses, and you both have your own style and skill, but my vote goes to triple, due too, lyrical content and rhyme scheme, and the dope,surprise ending.......great job both...1 |
thx for voting fluid... and for the feedback... uppin this...
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This was feedback posted for Ill-Grammatix
checkin the polls....nice shit from both....
pz |
This was feedback posted for Triple_N
peepin' the polls like whoa. good battle. weerd. 50 50 50 50 50 50 50 50 50 50
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Voted For: Ill-Grammatix
dayum i give this too ill grammatix i like his story line alot betta and alot more creativitie only thing i suggest..when you have the chief talkin..make it on a new line and put a , on the line above to add it on..but overall this was crazy i was feelin this battle triple you had a good verse too but your vocab wasnt that good and your visionary wasnt that good.....but you both did your thang ill grammatix gets this in my opinion |
return da favour
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=156859 |
no doubt..... good looking out on them votes y'all... keep em coming... *damn, this gon be a close one*
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Voted For: Triple_N
Ill-Grammatix: k man your shit was a very creative verse but it wasent to much full of emotion i gotta give this to a vet but you were good nice vocab and diggnity n shit...good topic who ever chose it to...your verse had good emption but not as good as triples you were hot n shit close battle.....8.7/10 Triple_N: k you had some good stucture and some good flow as did gram..but triple you had soem tight emotion in that shit but i dont see you as a topical lol...your better with punches but nun the less you had some dope shit you didnt have the vocabulary but you had the emotion nice shit dawg close battle:.....8.9/10 Return favour here: http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=156958 |
it's all good... thx for da feedback yo! aiight trip...it's 2-1 your favor..omma catch you, dawg!...lol
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Voted For: Triple_N
Emotion... Both had really good emotion in the pieces and really good out looks on the piece.... but im going to have to give this to triple beuasue his piece was alot more emotional and was really good... Imagery... I would have to give this slightly to Triple just for the fact taht when i was reading his verse i was really drawn into it and felt like i was there... really good piece man... Flow... i would have to say that this is a tie due to the fact both had different parts of the flow... Structure... This aswell im going to have to give to triple beacuse with Ill's centered wasnt really working for him with his structure and i usually really enjoy centered pieces but it just wasnt working this time... Rhyme Scheem... Again this is a tie beacuse both you had your shit rhyming and i really dont like doing that because in topicals i like it alot better when it is freeverse... but whatevers clever v/triple n 3/5 |
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