Broken LifeStyles....
 

Ok... I have never done this before?.... so i thought I would give it a try... So give me some feed back on this......

Broken LifeStyles.....

(Verse 1)

These broken lifestyles, grind away worse than nail filers,
We be dying, like tella marketers, The phone dialers,
When we gonna get a brake, Stop livin along side the lake,
No running water except the one without taste, the human waste,
People livin on streets, nuthin to eat, Eatin food without any taste,
Bust my jaw,comit a crime, Tryna run down the street just to get a dime,
I think its about time, to take charge, lay it down, walk around with a sign,
We need food and other shit that you have, Tryna stay alive,
They ignore us and tell some more lies, We will get you something, SOMETIME.

(Chorus)

They Brake us down give us no motive, How should I show this?
( Broken Lifestyles, people on probation, all arouind the nation)
We Cant go to College, Cant get Knowlage, Cant get in show Biz!
( People Runing out of money, only get it by Robbin a gas station)

They Brake us down give us no motive, How should I show this?
( Broken Lifestyles, people on probation, all arouind the nation)
We Cant go to College, Cant get Knowlage, Cant get in show Biz!
( People Runing out of money, only get it by Robbin a gas station)

(Verse 2)

Some people live with butlers and other luxurious things,
We have no clocks, oonly wake up when the church bell rings
Wish the world could make up, no one breaks up,
The hunger would all go down, and the money would go up,
We need a new Government for the homeless to run,
So we could give respect, and this time actually get some,
Whats the country coming to?, People shouldnt be treated like slaves,
Well, I will begin this day, with something to come,. and a little pray!
Dear god please give me PEACED a sign, oh and some food,
My mom been goin crazy, Put her in a good mood.
If you eva wanna be treated like me, come livbe in da hood

(Chorus)

They Brake us down give us no motive, How should I show this?
( Broken Lifestyles, people on probation, all arouind the nation)
We Cant go to College, Cant get Knowlage, Cant get in show Biz!
( People Runing out of money, only get it by Robbin a gas station)

They Brake us down give us no motive, How should I show this?
( Broken Lifestyles, people on probation, all arouind the nation)
We Cant go to College, Cant get Knowlage, Cant get in show Biz!
( People Runing out of money, only get it by Robbin a gas station)

.. I doint nkow?..... I never done this b4 ... I guess its goood,...... Hmm... I dont know... What do you think?

C'mon.,....... Give me some feed back...... Uppin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Uppin for feedback !!!!!! I wanna know how i did..... I never done this b4./... Thanx

it was okay but the verses was not in the right form. some of the lines didnt rhyme. You should also add another verse.

Thanx for the feed back .... appreciate it......

Uppin for feed back......

Peace~

I Liked The Words And The Topic.wuzn't Feelin' Ur Structure But Hey If Ur Comfortable With It Don't Change It.7/10keep Em Comin'

I Forgot This...........
The Title I Liked The Most Cause When I Read The Title I Thought It Was About Broken Condoms Or Sumthin Concerning That Like Wit' A Pregnancy Involved Because Of The Broken Condom,but Thats Cause Im Mental.stay Up

Ha Ha...... Uppin for some feedback.....~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You got problems.....

Uppin for feed back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

Upin for feedback~~~~~~~................................... .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ...................................

I thought it was good it wasnt excellent but it was very good :thumbup: 8/10

Thank You~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upping for feed back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uppin for some feed back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Uppin for some feed back~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~