hmmmm
 

shit started at 14...no way out from this depression
obsessive,compulsive...is the cause of my surpression
remenising back...youd have thought id learn my lesson
but wen the beat stops...im heading 4 my smith n weston

gots my head up for testing...probed by analystic scientists
need caressing by wings of angels...
...but white doves dont be flyin this...

(beat pauses)
"i aint lyin this",
"fuck ya statistical data...come n get tryin this"

(hook)
what ya gonna do when this claws at you for an end?
...life stops here, i got the devil for a friend...
bout when ya heart says delete, but ya mind says send?
...cnt get him outta here,i got the devil for a friend...




kind of a song im tryna write.....
nowhere near finished....please can i have sum honest feed so far?..
much appreciated.

Word Tstorms home...nice shit homie sum decent wordplay and good rhyming there...would be doper if it was longer but good piece anyway...yo peep my new song in my sig :thumbup:

Decent.Average.
Nice Wordplay & Vocab.Not Really feeling It.
Keep It Up.

wuz feelin' the idea n the wordin',the hook too.decent piece u got here.keep elevating.

decent wordplay, the hook i def was feeling it but i wanted to read more but not bad for starters......

drop some feed back on my song....

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1700503