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-   -   baby gurl (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=158903)

JJFLOWSUM_5 11-05-04 08:38 AM

listen up
 
ey baby gurl,u no i love er thing bout u even ya complection,
and u no to make dis work im willin to go in da same direction,
u da best and,sex and erthing we do is interestin,
the thought of losin u,i cant stand it when it comes to mind,
so i take the thought,and shove it all behind,
i've had these feelins eva since i asked you for yo numba and yo name,
and u no i think we should b togetha,but u dont neva think da same,
i felt like a failure,like a state of dereliction,
i aint hatin,cause ur da gurl im missin,
i swear ill change gurl i will b loyal,
u tellin me to give up,i wont recoil,
i had to make it work so i was anticapated,
a young man wit a gurl,who became initiated,
please baby gurl i no u want to stay,
so dont turn now please dont walk away,
u no i love erthing bout u,from head to toe and all above,
cause i wanna b more than yo man i wanna b the man u love

JJFLOWSUM_5 11-05-04 08:43 AM

ey yall give me some feed bac tell me if yall like it or not

JJFLOWSUM_5 11-05-04 09:18 AM

Yall Need To Give Me Some Fukin Feedbac

intensify effect 11-05-04 09:28 AM

not a bad drop but could of been better flow was good, creativeness was decent but all around not a bad drop...

7.0 outta 10

JJFLOWSUM_5 11-05-04 09:32 AM

yo thanx for da feed bac man

EastCoast 11-05-04 11:01 AM

it was cool.....i liked the last line.....but u used the words "I" and "u" a little too much...get elevated and i could see u puttin out some good stuff

Rebellious 11-05-04 11:14 AM

The piece was worked decently.Flow was nice,vocab was tight.Rhyme scheme could've been set a lot better. Try use multies once in a while. Return the fav!

Replay 11-06-04 08:22 PM

not bad definally better then the first keep uppin


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