Help
 

hey yo i dont wana admit it but i need some help with my rhymes. can someone help me with my rhymes? id really appreciate it. here is my worst battle...............
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=158965

holla someone. :banghead:

PM me, dawg...

If you dont think i'm good enough to help, check my drops in the Open Mic and Cyphers..

a battle against you im just not feeling it/
what kinda gay name is Logistic/
That barely rhymes

come on dog now think/
what kinda of man puts his profile in pink/
Dat ain't a good punch

so now i cant tell if your a boy or a girl/
your mother told me you were both which made me hurl/
Very sad punch

this battle im taking it/
the only way you will win is if i get disqaulified for some shit/
Umm, still not good punch

looking at your record of wins i see you only have one/
nigga turning paler than Michael Jackson/
Look at your own record..

basiclly..think of better punches, vocab, n structure...

-Dabatos

the whole verse was off keep trying..

Sup keep writing it will come.

1~

everyone gets better at a point.. n i gotta admitt. i was like dat before also.. and so has everyone else!! if they say they wern't then they are liars!

yea, dude practise and u will get better... make freinds with a dictionary...

dats fucked up lol!

Just keep practicin kid ... Listen to some rap (that works)
Get a rhyme scheme ... Think of new punches/original ...

It'll come ...
But until then ... you suck .

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:)

^LMAO...

damn...

Critisim can be an artist's best friend or his downfall...
From the looks of things...you fallin...

.......................................
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=158962

im only 14 people. lay off........................

^age aint a reason...

I could understand if you were like..7-8...but you're 14..

How old were you when you first heard rap, and then TRIED to rap?

rofl@his first post....classic.

so age who gives a fuck im 14..lots of us are..