Jimmy 'hot' killA
 

J always makin points that 'll puncture ya mind// deflate ya ego leave holes in the kind// o' shit that fake crooks live on //namely the kind of moves that my crew makes //that stories are based on //told by these thugged out fakes // i dry out lakes with the heat that am packin // eat up softees daily an by supper am smackin my-lips //sentimental at times feel close to my clips as close as my hips be// they stay beside me until i empty em-replacin blood an guts wit led// ya heart once pumped envy// so until these faggot cats iz dead i stay redesignin' ya fendi// 9 out o' 10 killas make moves like we do// 9 out o' 10 slugs come from our crew // 9 an a mike either arm might be a tattoo// either way i put out lights so sucks to u//the cut is full o' my enemies so where is u?//am here to rapbattle representin my crew//quick like a ivy flick J sick like da flu//comotose like a ovadose unconcious flows til am thru// expose rows as nappy fros prentenders dont got a clue:mad:

good flow and staying on topic while was what this peice did right what it did wrong was things like volcab could be upped a little better in that section but that's about it

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you tied in your rhyme schem well sort like a masta ace rhyme scheme nice just oine thing change up your bar structure for easier reading iight peace