...A JouRney In MiNds...
 

Now my heart has wandered out too far for me to walk it back
So I relied on my train of thought but it’s coming off its tracks
The clocks are cracked so with time shattered I force ahead
I feed my thirst only with tears but now that source is dead
The smoke has spread; I squint like when awoke from bed
I asked God to help me but in the reply fate spoke instead
Provoked by death it lighted a path retracing back to the past
So I sailed through my mistakes without the slack or a mast
It happened too fast; reality struck me with a smack and a blast
Emotion was dripping out a side of me like a crack in a glass
Laughing at last, I relived ignorance chasing my reason around
The changing seasons swinging my feelings like a playground
But it’s too late now; my future has already grown grey and torn
Because my decisive mistake came for me on the day I was born

let me get sum feed back on this

this was a cool peice wasnt all that other shit you hear on here so i give it a 8/10 get at mine yo

uuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppiiiiiiinnn............. .

pretty good....7/10...you prolly be decent at topicals..
i liked the content...but flow fell off in areas...

Wuz A Good Piece All Around.good Topic,vocab,wordplay,flowed Well.9/10
Keep Em Comin'

sickness.

for being a new guy i think you ripped it. i especially liked your multies brotha...they hit the mark. good shit, i look forward to peepin' your work in the future. keep it up homie. oner.

...if you got the time, drop a response to my latest open mic (tighten the noose). its a quick keystyle for some broad named hangman. let me know what you think.

.....s.v.

nice verse hommie....
flow was good...
creativenesss was good...
topic was good...
u focused on the topic which was good...
all around tight...

8.5 outta 10

peep my collabo open mic its called * u knew it was gonna happen violent type collabo *

dawg...that was sum tight shit....9/10...keep it up mayne......P.I.N.K..........1