new kid on the bloc~give feedback~
 

this is freestyle

my rhymes change time. like my words change lines. im a hot kid in my prime./ im on my lyrical grind.im not feeding u nickles and dimes./nigga is gettin full when i take them to school.using the right tool.ya'll run into the bright lite like a bull/sirl here taking the throne. get i my way im taking ya home. braking ya bone. with out using the chrome/it's a fact i put cats on they back and diss on there track. im cheese ya'll run to me like rats.and feens run to crack/im hot like hot sauce or boiling greens with the top off./dj's is like sirl i need u on my beat!!and gangsta saying problems need u on the street!!/i move like the greyhound.call me is what i say now nigga talk shit but rapverse is were u get laid down.what u got to say now./


of the top

show some feed back

ok drop. simple yet showed your lyrical skill.
try structuring your shit better.

example..

my rhymes change time. like my words change lines. im a hot kid in my prime./
im on my lyrical grind.im not feeding u nickles and dimes./
nigga is gettin full when i take them to school.
using the right tool.ya'll run into the bright lite like a bull/
sirl here taking the throne. get i my way im taking ya home. braking ya bone. with out using the chrome/
it's a fact i put cats on they back and diss on there track.
im cheese ya'll run to me like rats.and feens run to crack/
im hot like hot sauce or boiling greens with the top off./
dj's is like sirl i need u on my beat..
and gangsta saying problems need u on the street!!/
i move like the greyhound.call me is what i say now nigga talk.. shit but rapverse is were u get laid down.what u got to say now..

this make's it easier to read.Also let's your flow show.

try using some multible rhyme's.

example.
....my rhymes change time. like my words changed lines.
im a hot kid in my aged prime. worth more than a caged dime..
..
the multi's are..." changed line's"...."aged prime"..."caged dime"
these are simple multi's but it show's you the jist..

this is a allright drop..
keep dropping and keep elevating..
pz

good looking on the feed back. i'll use ur advice next time. thanks

yeah definitely work on ya structure........

......lines were a lil streched too........

........jus keep practicing and elevating.........

ummmmm

that was a pretty garbage drop....work on ur structure...i hate readin shit when its like that....and work on ur multis n wordplay....keep tryin dude...you'll get betta at it

stay up

it wasn't totally garbage,just real ruff around the edges.like the other guy said up there^^structure it better so it reads well.u can go bak and edit the structure and see the difference it makes.keep on droppin'.