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CriTiC vs ..:OutBreak:..
Battle Rules: *Topic Haunted House* 15 Linez No ~ Crew Votes No ~ Recycling No ~ Biting Good Luck Minimum posts to vote: 200 Check in by: 11-18-04 at 01:21 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
..:Outbreak:.. has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-15-04 01:22 PM.
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CriTiC has ACCEPTED this battle on 11-16-04 01:33 PM.
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When asked about my childhood I always invasion pain….
I attempted to disregard it,…. But I can’t removed the stain The strain is unbearable,…. nobody can really comprehend My mind & body was abused my way out was to transcend Today I’m flying back,.... but psychologically I’m still grounded My darkest thoughts are caged, with happy emotions surrounded I haven’t been loved nor felt love, which is why I’m still haunted The abuse I receive as a child has left my soul empty and taunted I have to go back for a funeral,.. one of my friends has passed away.. The day I received the News I was lost and didn’t know what to say.. My minds now Derelict the foundations of my structure ripped down. I drowned in a river of alcohol with the stream flowing from the town My mind started to conjure up manifestations of that haunted house…….. I still hear the screams of my siblings as they was tortured and roused,….. I remember being doused in human urine and beaten to death in this house |
As I Enter the House, Creak's Echo and Bounce off the wall's Rat's, Moth's Scamper Into The Darkened Murky Hall's 5 Step's and The Floorboard's Loosen and Threaten To Give Way My Windpipe Ceased to make a Utter, I Had Nothin' to say Conscience Played Trick's, Of Image's Fluttering By Dead People i Visioned, a Man Hung from the ceiling,By his Tie It was like a Movie, everything Surreal, Unbelievable but yet i could feel tension I did not wish to remain, Fear Trickled Into My Mind, My stay did'nt need a extension Shadow's Shifted among Torn Wall's and Splintered Door's Another Humane Figure, Motionless On All Four's It was a kid, a victim of a assault or Murder, Evil Loomed Shitted Myself, Stampeded to the door *Turn's doorknob but door will not open* a Rasping Voice call's out "You Have Met Your Doom" I Swivel around to catch a Glimpse of the Origine of the Chilling Voice Wishing not to suffer the same doom of various other's ..i grab my Knife and end my Life I simply had No Choice... ...Eyesight Fade's as i recall memorie's Then...Conscience Evade's |
Up~ing for votes please,,..
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Voted For: CriTiC
I think that CriTiC got this battle because i feel that CriTiC came stronger in the following categories...Topic i felt CriTiC got it was effective and was on point OB u shoulda been a bit more creative on this occasion rhyming i felt went to CriTiC good lookin wordplay and creativity goes to CriTiC and flow and structure i'll give to CriTiC. V/CriTiC |
This was feedback posted for CriTiC
Dope topical...jus lookin at the polls............
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Sup thanks for the vote & feedback uping this battle.
1~ |
This was feedback posted for ..:Outbreak:..
checking the score................................
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Voted For: ..:Outbreak:..
Outbreak came with the overall best visionary i could see myself walkin in the house as soon as his verse started had ok vocab but that doesnt really matter when it comes 2 topicals..i mean i dont do topicals yet but i kno its about visionary and critic visionary was more of a freestyle than a topical about a haunted house jus mentioning A haunted house in ya verse doesnt make it about that my vote goes 2 outbreak returned votes are wanted |
Lmao well I guess you should stick to voting on text
Battles if you don’t understand my verse don’t vote I'm not going to explain it because you need to think About it. Its not just words jumbled together but I bet Anyone who knows what a topical verse is about would Totally disagree with you. Its not about the words it's about the hidden meanings and the close explains it lol anyway what eva shit. up~ing |
This was feedback posted for ..:Outbreak:..
Dis Look Like An Close Call Topical Batttle...........
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This was feedback posted for ..:Outbreak:..
checkin the polls.................................
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Up Up^______________________^Bump Bump
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