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¥ung_gÅl_†®àumå 11-20-04 10:17 AM

Feedback Required Quick!!!!!!!!!
 
Dream


Snow falls when I’m asleep, but when I wake its set ablaze
Not intoxicated in dreams, but when I wake up I need to blaze
My baby’s smiling at me but when I wake I see his pain
Sun is glowing while I pass out, in conscious I witness rain

Stuck in this deserted land, uncontrollable, I’m flown away
It’s here I’m most powerful and find a brighter day
Captivated, smoke steaming, strong willed, fears hidden
I’m invincible in my visions, don’t wake me it’s forbidden

Passed out in dreamland, I’m no longer that “lost little girl”
Ballerina dresses perched upon a throne, smiling followed by a twirl
Floating of ground, candyfloss, fluffy, wispy clouds that promise not to pour
I’m the puppeteer, untouchable, I’ll take you there, open up my door

No one stop me, painted smile, paper flowers, it’s all imaginary in my dreams
Beep…Beep, purple sky fading, ocean giving way, I’ll realise nothings what it seems
Tears will be forced away as I creep back into curse reality
Unprepared, faded memories, brushing my fears aside, gnawing at what’s left of my sanity

I’ll lock my dream land up, closing shutters, promising to return
Take my first step out, sacrificing imagination, letting hatred burn
Confuse, frustrated, not daring to move in fear of self expression
First foot laid, mask forced on, compressed with blankets of depression

¥ung_gÅl_†®àumå 11-20-04 10:18 AM

Please Yall Leave Feedback
Anytyme Now
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PayDay 11-20-04 11:32 AM

yo man...i was feelin that str8 up...good drop mayn...has structure, a good topic, vocab was there...good job..9/10...yo man hit my open mic up...link in the bottom...thanks...~1~


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