world surrounding... the deepest ive wrote
 

mirroring my optics i see the life i lead
pain is overcast as i contemplate inner greed
my heart bleeds at the pain i've caused others
selfish rampant emotions smothered, i need accost
insecure feeling lied to, double crossed
my minds on a journey lost, runaway, a stray from my head
feeling so angry at the shit i've been fed
surrounding propaganda media and the constant lying
from which someones existance is striving or indeed dying
the hatred has formed a message which i've chosen to propose;
why has god give us life petals on the rose
for in the end we all have to fall
black white big or small there's no competition in death
everyone has to repay their debt for god has let us have our chances
chance is theres no heaven nor hell to go to
a myth once again delivered and believed by illogical people
the world is falling down tumbling atmosperically and socially
god gave us life so lets all let it lead.. honestly


one of the deepest poems i have ever wrote.. i would love to hear some feedback on this thanks alot

deep is definetly the word
 

word is bond...i really felt that...thanx for readin shyt from mah world and now i thank you for introducing to your world...keep writing and live it up...1

thx man that came from the heart im glad u liked it, keep postin comments evy1.

tight piece, looks like ps has another growin star to look after , liked this one showed true emotion and grabbed the readers attension

my heart bleeds at the pain i've caused others
selfish rampant emotions smothered, i need accost
insecure feeling lied to, double crossed
my minds on a journey lost, runaway, a stray from my head-danja

lied the followin linez most

pz

really nice piece...deep in its own way....had a strong meaning...kind of raw too...and overall had a good stucture...respect...

im deffintly feelin this. specialy the 1st 2 barz. i think ya jumped from writing this in first person p.o.v. to 3rd person alil much, but either way i was feelin this. liked the wordplay ya used to get your content out. in a way it had mad imagery. stay up and be active. joey

this was nice
good vocab
very well put
had avery
powerful meaning to it


much respect
~illest~

thx for all ya coments so far keep em cuming up

Welcome to RB - PS,
Stay active!
I really enjoyed reading this,
flowed well ...
Topic kept me readin,
much props!

Fav Lines v

pz

up

yea yea!! dat was some real shyt. keep writin dunny. 100!!!