A Forgoten Tune
 

A forgotten tune
Nestled between the medians, shaded in gray
He lies in the coffin, as the words still boiled
Burning his mouth, Lips still wound shut
Never releasing a breath, with a face still stale
From the lifeless air, he’s met just years before
And as I stood there, I saw his lips gapping open
Releasing from its clutches, the final expression of emotion
Like the waves from the ocean, it just crashed and retreated
But the birds, they still sang, never disturbed
By the final yet silent moan, no, they continued to sing
The most beautiful morbid tune, harmonic to my ears
I finally turned and walked away, with the tune still in my ear


short but powerful

DAMN,you were right..lol, great piece,very well written,short but to the point man,nice job on this one..1

very good man...lots of props

yo
 

nice drp man - 7.9/10 nice theme, sturcture and vocab 4sho
chek am topical battle yo :thumbup: and return tha favour

ur a skilled poet.definately powerful word here.keep em comin'

Thanks to all for the feedback it is much appriciated...

Definetely solid. nice peice.

8/10

thanks appriciate the feedback

uppin for some more please

If you write a short verse in poetry, you can't try to say too much in those few lines and you found a hot balance between saying what you've got to say and not saying too much. it was short but powerful indeed...i was really feeling this one. Wordplay, vocab, flow,.... everything was straight to the point! H-O-T

wow thanks for the feedback