1st. drop in here.feedbak plz.
 

Imagine my life lived through your eye's
Thoughts revised,
no longer mine
How could you want that?I thought it was me you loved
There layed a lie in every kiss
and deception in every hug!
Now the truth has approached me,
I can ignore nomore
The hurt in my heart that's really all yours
Now I'm left to think goodbyes in this pool of my own blood
Left with the visions of God telling me I won't be going up
Suicide became my lover
and friend above all
Love was the silent killer that left me murdered
in these four walls.

omfg!!!!! dis was da shit 4 a first poem:) LUVIN it....good structure NICE vocab n so on....it touched me:)keep up da good work luv

hey yo nice poem, gd rhyme , vocab fittd and structure worked well...keep em comin yo 0verall- 7.5/10 Retun tha favour on one of my drops or battle - links in sig Peace...1

thx for the feedbak peeps and elusiv i'll check ur joints in a few.
more feedback pleaze........................