I Love You (Must Read)
 

My first drop on this site....AKA IceMan187.....just read....this marks my return.....ive been inactive
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Erase the past, the present holds whats best
Resting ya head on my chest
Holding hands, never another stress
No one to impress...just us
To grow old together, through ups and downs
Smiles and frowns....any weather
The bad times not evident, it only gets better
It's a struggle...but its obvious i love you
All my tears and fears disappear when i hug you
From life to death, i want you by my side
Continue to show me wut it's like to be alive
So lets try...to carry on with a relationship
You've got my heart, and im sick of you breakin it
I love you, you love me, what more do we need
I'm me, your you, thats how i know we'll succeed
Someday, you'll understand, what its like to be a man
And have to sit here all alone, no one to hold your hand
I can't stand...to not see you, even just for a day, i miss you
Can't wait for dismissal, figuring i might have missed you
Waiting in hope...waiting for you to greet me with a note
A lump in my throat...nervous, cus I'm already late for class, and still no sign of your ass
Sitting around, waiting for the time to pass...
Run through my door, pick up the phone, and pray that your home
Can't you see? I would put my life on the line, just for you to survive
Wipe the tears from your eyes, if you started to cry
The reason is clear, crystal, I'm myself when im with you
I want to make you my wife and spend the rest of my life with you
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now, i understand the structure isnt best....but it flows perfectly when i say it....you just have to be a certain style to get it.....my style....so please, just try not to critique so much on that.....and more-so wut you think overall.....im not looking to be nominated for OM of the month or Legends or wutever....but i wrote this under 15 minutes, with the woman i love in mind....and i havent written a song or poem for at least a couple months

its okay.. 7/10.. could use improvement.. u got some corny lines in there..

thatz nice homie...i read this it wuz sum tru love shit keep this up man :thumbup:

This was very good, well written and emotional as well, your vocab is great too and descriptive, this piece was from the heart which makes it that much better, keep em coming man,good to see you active again..1

Nice nigga very nice. View mine.

Pretty good... Like you said structure wasnt great, flowed good when i said it too though... And... Umm... I liked how you would sometimes start a line with the rhyme you used to end the line before it... But sometimes you wouldnt rhyme, you would use the exact same word... Good emotion though... 8/10

thx for the feed.....and ill hit up any links yall leave.....but none of yall left links :(
get them links in here......

give more feed too!!!!

and yes, i am the dope sigmaker......

not bad....could use work on stucture alot....but vocab wasent to bad topically your pretty good...multis nun really...7/10

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aiyo this waz a good drop nice topic and good useage of vocab...
kew structure if u work on it overall a nice dropped felt the topic and
ish...keep elevatin an peep my battlez they gettin slept on in the front linez
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word.........uppin