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The World We Live In
The World We Live In We've engaged a generation, full of bad temptation's... Forgeting there's no replacement for the lives bein taken... I'm tired of being patient, I'm too tired of wait'n Wait'n for this nation to become more amazin.... But what suck's is there will be no amazin transformation... And that's all becuase we had to do a Middle East Envasion... Why is this world full of lie's, full of too little information... We really don't live in any kind of great civilized nation... We live where there will alway's be criminal face's... & even more ppl with un-usual cruel imagination's... It's like we live life to cold, in need of incilation... & i know a cold life isn't a life i'd like to stay in... As you know, before, this wolrd was full of discrimination... From enslavin to putting Native's in reserved location's.. These race's, get hated due to the color of wut their face is.. & the only explanation, is that their heart's full of hated... Wy discrimination???We all the same homosapiens... Maybe we hate all cuz we differ in opinion's and statements... But we don't only suffer of hatred, wut about low pay wages... There, familes for month's only crums from garbage have been tasted.. There's more that got it worst, so you don't even know wut pain is... You try sleepin outside wit no blanket on the cold pavement... People in all ages, live life all in different pace's... But only a few ever get a chance to taste the life of greatness... 12/04/04 Dabatos |
i like how you talk about the world, and bring other topics into play... u always bring the reality topics to poetry, and i think that's good.. cuz sum people don't know what the hell is going on in the world up to date... nice vocab, emotion was consistent
Maybe we hate all cuz we differ in opinion's and statements... But we don't only suffer of hatred, wut about low pay wages... There, familes for month's only crums from garbage have been tasted.. There's more that got it worst, so you don't even know wut pain is... ^i liked these lines best, the last line was very nicely put cuz it's the truth.. nice piece of work, i was really feeling this, i read it twice also... aight, pz.. |
wow, thanx Lady Fiya :)
uppin for more |
hmm...i was feelin this....good use of vocabulary nothing bad to say about this...but you fell on stucture but still this was one of your best peices ive seen..this was so full of emotion and it flowed so well...on topic very good i cant say this was whack cuz damn...why are gurls so good at topicals...jeez..:(...jk...:)...
9.2/10 |
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yep, np......... a lil female support.. :thumbup: very nice work deserves credit, keep it up.. ;) |
thanx :).................
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yea...im feelin this right here...some real shit for people to wake up and realize...it was a good use of vocab...BUT...ya words started to get repetitive..maybe it was the way i was readin it..but it eemed like some of ya lines shoulda been longer..but maybe its just me..
other then that...it was good.. |
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na, some of the words we're repetative lol |
uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin uppin
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Thanx, the feedback is much appreciated..
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