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-   -   "drama" quick spit (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=16446)

FaTaLiTy 07-09-02 01:10 PM

"drama" quick spit
 
it seams like i'm all alone no 1 can understand what i'm feeling/
so i talk to god with my hands gripped and i'm kneeling/ asking him whats the reason for all this pain that he's dealin/ and whats holdin me back from puting to work the weapon i'm wielding/
and whats the purpose of all these evil thoughts in my head/ of killin ppl and washing my hands in the blood that they've bled/
but not even all the bodies can add up to all the tears that ive shed/
or the things that ive said , at night taking the guilt to my bed/
it seamz like my vision is blinded/
but when i stray to far i look at my scar and soon i'm reminded/
of my murderous past/
seeing the bloodiest baths/
sometimes its hard to just sit back and laugh/
and let shit slide without somebody to slash/
but i'm a live what more can i ask?

TecknicallyUniq 07-09-02 01:17 PM

that was deep dog im feelin that shit keep it up

FaTaLiTy 07-09-02 02:02 PM

good looks dog

RhetoriX 07-09-02 03:34 PM

The actual message was deep, and it was well thought out, I liked how ya bought your ideas in... The verse was quite simplistic though, more wordplay woulda made this a winner... The rhythm was nice, quite simplistic style, but you come through, would like to see more internal rhymes, that should smoothen everything up... Vocab was aight, it was a solid and decent spit, but simplistic, work on some complexity and thought into ya rhymes... Keep spitting and elevating, feeling the ideas though...

Peez...

FaTaLiTy 07-09-02 04:22 PM

iight , uppin


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