Pure Freedom
 

Short drop but i am editing this later...feedback will be returned...


This balanced rhythmical silhouette is a pleasure to behold
Effortlessly gliding across a landscape of pure white gold
The sagging trees formed an arch for her to pass under
Enthralled by the stunning beauty of this winter wonder
Silently staring to the unlimited clear blue sky above
As remarkable as the sights were the sounds or lack thereof
Watching the snowflakes fall onto a snow-encrusted tree branch
Listening to her heartbeat,truly grateful for this carte blanche
Never had she experienced such a unique sense of being free
After all these years,she realized how much she loved to ski


DQ

^upping...it's just a short drop, not hard to read...lolz

nice drop jess...very nice...keep it up...peace

yea girl dis piece was dope....short but it was tiight....u uppin ur skillz....was feelin it was beginnin to da end...good vocab by da way..keep up da hott work

nice drop...had a good vocab and imagery keep it comin

Thanks for the feedback and i'll check your ^ stuff right away...

I liked the imagry, vocab, and the twist at the end. Do you ski, or did you just feel like writing a poem like this? Either way pretty good, only thing I can say is work on some multis and wordplay. 7.5/10

I been skiing for 10 years now...It's just a rough draft i felt like posting already, quite busy right now but i'll surely edit this and as you said, put vocab n multi's in...

Thanks for feed btw!

good ass vocab structure was good and da flow was jus right i liked the poem good drop keep droppin.

i think that it was very dope. it had great flow and it also had a very good message that was brought about

Thanks for feedback...

nice drop girl............good vocab and imagry........flow was decent.....like personify said work on multi's.......it helps your flow......but this was a poem so its excusable......lol.....keep it up ma.....drop feed on my poem......links in sig....

Thanks for feedback people...much appreciated!

i agree with every one these replys... the only problem.... its to short.
vocab, imagery, flow, "basically everything" was solid...

keep droppin str8 heat...

Peace...

^Thanks for feed people, should get to it (expanding it I mean) soon...

DQ