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-   -   Outside Looking In (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=167107)

Valor 12-19-04 11:07 PM

Outside Looking In
 
outside looking in

a little fragile innocent boy, joey always would walk to school
the nerdy and sometimes autistic child trying to be cool
but for some reason he was never given a chance
made fun of with his looks, the way he talked, and his stance
however he would always remain strong with his head up
one day he came home with a black eye and was fed up
he promised he wouldn't let up and keep going strong
getting good grades, and no longer wondering if he belonged
because he knew he was special and loved at home
if he was being made fun of by his friends, he really belongs alone
because friends dont hate nor put down eachother
beings friends is like a bond you keep, your like brothers
so joey went on to finish school and went on to college
while his past bullies were failures, and never found knowledge
and joey saw this, he never looked back, he became a lawyer
protected other young kids who were bullied and bothered
he succeded in making new laws and new ways
for students, children of all ages to have better days
because no child deserves to get treated with no love and no care
lets be fair and admit being a bully is pointless and gets you no where

Viscosity 12-19-04 11:10 PM

good piece.. I liekd it alot, lot of imagery, and consent flow..
not much big vocab, but for a piece like this its not needed.
but the first 2 lines made me laugh.. LOL..
good piece, keep at it man.. you got something good going
keep elevating.
please return the favor:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=167103

-remeber get 2 links (replys you did on others O.M), or mods will shut this piece, and dont let that happen.. its a coo piece.

Valor 12-19-04 11:45 PM

uppin this piece

Valor 12-20-04 01:03 AM

upp upp and away

Valor 12-21-04 01:05 AM

upping upping and upping

Valor 12-21-04 03:11 AM

yall are wack man......someone give feedback

L.E 12-21-04 03:50 AM

A'ight this was a very nice piece...flow was off a bit in places but overall this was very dope...I liked it a lot, keep up the good work! :thumbup: Yo, couold you return the favor on mine?

"Love's Empitiness"

Thanks.

Valor 12-22-04 09:31 PM

uppin this piece

Valor 12-27-04 12:31 AM

well fine then!


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