My thoughts on "LOVE"
 

minds split unable to transmit ligit waves/ thoughts have been captured and enslaved to be portrayed/ hearts being betrayed/ world so cold/ no one even looks or takes the time to see what it is that they behold/ none-the-less give it a chance to unfold/ its microscopic/ now-a-days love aint being felt its just a topic/ cuz to many hearts have been broken/ and feeling are left unspoken/ fear/ is why its hard to let someone near/ afraid you will once again be crushed is why from love you steer clear/ then you realize its what you need/ its the reason you bleed/ and it keeps you on the path to exceed/ deep/ emotions maken it hard to sleep/ its a feeling that you would love to keep/ cuz it makes you feel secure/ but at times your unsure and you wonder if that love is pure/ then you remember how bad it felt the last time/ so you dont let love close and you melt the last chime/ finding yourself unable to trust no matter how hard you thrust to do that just/ in disgust/ cuz one person broke through the crust/ and decided they wanted to play/ now you push love away/ and you remain lost and lonely/ knowing that love is your one and only...

pretty good the flow got choppy in spots try and keep the same bar length it would help besides that it wasn't that bad

ya need to chop it up a bit cos ya always lose the flow. part from that this was good but a little simple. concept was good but ya vocab never really expanded much. still keep spittin and check mine bent politicians.

good looking our but my bad i ment to put this in the poem forum but oh wells thanks for the advice anyways...