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-   -   [rate]~In Love With You~[merry christmas] (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=168115)

B. Magik 12-24-04 08:55 PM

[rate]~In Love With You~[merry christmas]
 
This is a rap I wrote to my gurl for Christmas...Tell me what yall think PLEASE!! I really need to know before Xmas (tomorrow) Thanx..

This not-a-lie, lately, you've been on-my-mind
The truth-is, a friend like you-is, hard-to-find
Helped me walk-when-blind, let me know when I crossed-a-line
An angel-true, that helped me make-it-thru, the hardest-times
A star-that-shined, its hard-but-I want-you-to-feel-this
No gimmicks-shit, ya friendship-is, one-in-a-million
Believe-it-it's-true, you a queen, I can see the genius-in-you
And I wrote-this-rap, to show-you-that, I'm thinking-of-you
This girls-my-queen, she means more than the world-to-me
And a world, without her, just isn't the world-for-me
Helped me learn-to-see, with an ass, that'll SLUR-YA-SPEECH!
Told me not to get-high, because I'd get-by, with her-with-me
I'm in love-with-you, this love-is-true, this queen-is-mine
Forever's-a-pact, walk to heaven-and-back, to see-you-smile
The love-of-my-life, the woman that I want-as-my-wife
I'd leave-the-Earth to NEVER see-you-hurt, just wanna be loving-you-right

Tell me what yall think! I need some feed before I give this to my gurl...Thanx and Happy Holidays yall...1

EastCoast 12-24-04 09:07 PM

werd...good drop...as always, your best category wuz the multies....i think she'll like it...yo, who is it for fam....hit me up witter name/i wont tell her dawg/who is it...

B. Magik 12-24-04 09:35 PM

Its for Tynisha dawg...We still strong thru 2 years...Thanx for the look dawg...I really hope she likes it...I got her some other shit too...but anywayz...uppin this bitch!! 1

B. Magik 12-24-04 10:01 PM

Upping for more feedback on this...

Kilo704 12-24-04 10:59 PM

yeah dawg good drop. shit if dat dont get shawdy idk wut will. lol.

Dabatos 12-24-04 11:51 PM

Post 2 links from 2 other battles that you have left good feedback in, or else this open mic will be closed..

-I. Mind

TeamOne 12-25-04 01:57 AM

im feelin the drop.......... there were some spots where u didnt rhyme all that well, but the multies were really good and im sure she's gonna like it......

*goes to copy and paste for his gurl*

this is kinda late, cuz ya prolly not gonna get this in time, but w/e...... its kinda short, but it prolly shouldnt be that long if its some lil thing for ur girl on christmas...... keep it up.......

B. Magik 12-25-04 02:37 PM

Thanx man...Uppin for more feed on this...Btw...Heres some links...

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=165955

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...098#post1844098

B. Magik 12-25-04 04:22 PM

Uppin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B. Magik 12-25-04 08:28 PM

Uppin...much too many views and far too little feedback...Uppin...I will return the favor...Thanx...1

L.E 12-25-04 08:31 PM

A'ight...this was pretty good...like FuxJustAWord said...there are some parts that dont rhyme that well...flow can be improved, so can structure...a decent drop wit some nice emotion anyway...return the favor. Peace.

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=167326

B. Magik 12-25-04 08:50 PM

No doubt...Thanx for the feed...Can someone please point out the parts that didn't rhyme?? 1

Coopa Bang 12-25-04 09:19 PM

Nice song fam....Shit That could get some fine dimez...no what im sayin homeboi...

B. Magik 12-25-04 11:46 PM

haha...no doubt...I gave it to my gurl today...and...well...It was a good Christmas...lol...thanx for the feed man...uppin...1

EyeDentity 12-26-04 05:03 AM

Yo Deep Shit Hommie, I Was Feeling The FLow On This One, The Over All Concept Was Tight, Vocabulary Was There, Every Thing Was Decent...10/10..Yo Hit Me Up If You Ever Want To Collab


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