freestyle
 

i spit words mentally for what they meant to be chemically assanite legislate my words contaminate ure brain like cocain drench u in propain slit open ure stomach and rip out the guts ure stomach contain through ya mind frame in the right time frame risin like the crime rate listen as i demonstarte my complaticated rhyme technique im on fire like trees in blistrin heat im litreally blistrin the beat im like a cell phone im out ya range i bring the pain im a dreament to the hip hop soceity u just like a bitch sworn to sabrity u never give up the good shit hood shit u couldnt spit even if u drank my piss im like a hit man u on my list callin out all m.c. who want to beef cause i got my gun cocked locked ready to let it go

ok man.....u seriously need some help here....lets start off with ur structure

well i have a question....?? does anyone believe in helpin cats elevate around here...u have 500 posts....someone shouldve told u somethin man

anyway.....ur structure helps the reader grasp ya flow......ok so next time write it like this if u want people to understand and find ya flow

ex....

commonly known to rip kids im bombin these gnomes//
make sure u understand me - this cat toppin me? - no//

see the ending bars??....signifies that ur endin ur rhyme right there.....called a structure/ rhyme scheme.......

another thing....since u have a laptop/computer....i take it that u have microsoft word.....use it for ur spellin.....makes it a lot easier for the reader to read as well with the right intended usage for spellin

now freestyles are cool.....but try gettin on some topical stuff...broaden ur horizons.....ull get a lot more feedback that way.......try selectin a topic like.....talkin about the govt......how ur feelin that day.......how ur mom struggles...or what u saw that amazed u.....talk about heaven ...somethin....and stay on topic about what ur writin......

thats all i can tell u as far as basics........this is comin from a vet.....im a newbie to the site....but trust me.....im waaaaaay far from new to the game

*winks*

hit my pieces hip hop warrior and final review up man....see what im on.....

d.a.

this was alright....vocab was good....it didn't flow too good though probably coz of the structure....keep dropping....

Thanks For The Feed Back People Uppin...

Uppin..........

Dont Sleep On This Uppin....

Puttin Bac Too The Top...

structure.

that will fix you flow and your rhyme's, cause at the moment your rhyme scheme isnt visible.

6/10, fix the structure and it will be dope. keep dropping. remember your link's

Uppin This Mother Fucker...