got made fun of...
 

ppl be hating cuz i could actually do somi wit my life thats how i act.. not my fault i was rasied like that buh wit u its so funny cuz u sound like a lil whiteboy not to be a critic buh u can be an american sex toy! be using it stocks go high when ppl wanna buy buy buy!!! im just a *no body* yet cuz no knowes me or knowes a bout me ppl be falling apart sayin they my friend yet back stabbed me at the end.. suck up bitches when im rich, saying can i have this? fuck that no one will do that.. so fresh n so clean when i got my ice they be starting to gleam! ha u even say ur part of they black diamonds committy team when u went around jumpin dicks buh u say u getten chicks.. ha! wht an embarresssment did i mention u got an inffection?! y do ppl even like u say i have notin to do wit my life when im tryin to see if u could get on my last nerve n stab u wit my knife.. i could have differnt personalityes wit ppl thats if i want them to know me like that buh see u gatta know me first or else ur being ferrin ur worst nightmare it might scare ya bitch ass n be a lil snitch that goes around n says i twiched by seeing a bear wht a lie.. no one would listen u cuz sooner or later ill know where ur at n ill show u da gat 1-2-3 bullets sooner ya dead... nuff said...

ay
 

hey,wht yall think?????

yeah dat was aight but u needed structure dawg.....still good tho. 8.5/10

ight thanks... any more comments?

umm...
 

i didnt even wanna read that dog
Is this a rap or a story?
^^^ Forreal
U need structure
I couldnt make sense out of it
Work on it
~payce

k iight thanks for ya help... any other comments?

sorry bro i dint feel it cuz
1 your structure was off
2 you talked about stabbin people and diamonds its to played
3 your rhymes were basic

elevate you got potential

ps hit up my open mic in my sig thanks 1