|
Denial
where the fuck am I? and why do my thoughts echo? all the way down these blinding white walls, "you got to let go" Let go of what, I'm innocent untill proven guilty.. "But your hands are filthy.." well...it was self defense.. .........................................the man tried to kill me.. "you tell yourself that, but i'll tell you this... the man came at you with no more than a ball in his fist.. it was a petty notion, like anyone he acted out of instinct.. you let him think..thatd it'd be a fair fight, knowing that.. ..your intention and 4-5 would be in sync.." I knew nothing, how can you sit there and make accusations.. "You were his best friend since birth, no stronger relation".. well where is my motive, what was in it for me.. "The man you murdered was everything you ever wanted to be.. He couldn't have been a better man, he often seemed flawless.. and your jealousy led you to act violent and lawless.. but you made a mistake, you could never fill his shoes.. just because you abused, substances that you said you'd never ever use.. your whole life, you've acted like nobody had the power.. to slowly devour, your soul, and turn your mind sour.. you started doin drugs, said you wanted to try it.. But your friend didn't buy it..you just wanted to fit in.. but chose to deny it.. you got addicted, lost everything, became insanely depressed just because you knew you laid your potential to rest.. and the thought eats at you, wondering what could have been.. your concious tried to help you, but couldn't win.. your best friend was your potential, it seemed un ending.. untill you started mixing, smoking, and blending".. well, i can change, concious, you've finnally gotten threw to me.. "Look at the mirror above you, your drugs abused you brutally.. it's too late for you, your paralyzed from the brain down".. and as for you?, "your lucky i decided to stay around.. Look at yourself, you can think, but you can't even speak.. all though i'm well and strong, your body is too weak.. and to think, our dream was to touch the lives of many.. and no matter how hard I try, you won't touch any.. but don't worry, i'll pray for us both, so when God puts us on trial.. He'll forgive you for destroying a life, falling victim to denial.." "denial is refusing to acknowledge and act on truth".... |
|
ha a criminal story,and not just bragging about it..
I'm feelin this..I feel stupid for not read your shit before.. it wasp leasent to read..and you got structure almost like me.. which is GREAT..and the vocab was good..petty notion wow.. and I liked the ending and the way you almost made this like a actuall event and no like a narrorator thing...GREAT..award worthy *cough*vote for me* cough |
yupp dope piece.. really feeling this.... iight good job... 9/10... too tired to crit further..
|
ok first of all this was very emotional...and your vocab was decent and your stucture was there and flowed so well with a few good multis...a few lines that had a twist to them with wordplay....but most of all this shit was very emotional....keep goin i wanna hear you audio you would be tight...but still im wodering if this is true shit cuz shure sounds like it...i like it anyway...
9/10..honest |
uppin.....for you..and yes..you too
|
nice. i especially liked the ending. very emotionally charged. props to you for this piece.
|
uppin............................................. ........................
|
Thats A Pretty Dope Piece Mayn...
I Was Feeling The Storyline And Everything... I Liked How You Had The Conversations Going And Kept A Nice Smooth Flow... That Shit Was Trick... You're Vocab Was Very Nice, Emotion Was Veeeeeeery Good... Uuum, The Whole Verse Was Pretty Hot... Only Thing Is Is That It Kinda Starts To Drone On... Just Because You Dont Use Choruses, So Thats My Only Complaint... Everything Else Was Dope To No Ends Homie, Stay Up... .One. |
uppin this...because it needs to be read..just like everyting else
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:42 AM. |