I've Tried
 

Slowly everyday, I'm dying inside.
Tried forgetting you. What haven't I tried?
Deeply longing to look into your eyes.
My smile is a broken heart in disguise.

Feeling this pain that i know you never felt.
Dealing with this feeling that can't be dealt.
I've lied to myself over and over again.
The feeling won't end. So how do I mend?

I was told I will one day be over you.
Hope it's true. Finally living without you.
When I mend. Will life reach perfection?
Will I learn my lesson? Go the right direction?

Doubt it though. So why should I even try?
I won't lie. Without you by my side I die.
Can't breath right. Can't think straight.
Feelings so deep that nobody seems to relate.

But there is something I really want to know.
Do you have feelings you don't want to show?
Deep inside, have you truly moved on by..?
Are there tears that you cry? Do you ever try..?

You know I will forgive. But I can never forget.
The way I felt for you since the moment we met.
So everyday, I hold my head high and carry on.
I might love again. But my feelings for you stay strong.

^^^ tha best part of tha poem

real deep. u described tha situation well n got tha point across. 10/10 yo could u return da favor n drop feed on my poem? it's called 2 my true love. 1

daym i liekd this well not really 10/10 i unno what hes smokin you can never write a perfect verse

but this was good tho i liekd it all together its nice

1

um............yea

Good drop, flow stayed on for most of the poem, your rhyme scheme varied sometimes but its aight, overall good drop. Try to add some situations, like dates and stuff like that, px

thx fo da feed back

yupp nice poem... upp ur vocab thou ma' besides that this was pretty tight... good feelings... just make it more complexed.. good job though..

thx uppin........

damn ma, that poem was really good
i can tell u had deep feelings when u wrote it
keep it up

Could totally relate with what you wrote, straight spitting from the core...vocab could be more complex but it doesn't affect the raw emotion in your piece. Structure n flow were tight too. Keep on dropping stuff like this, good job girl!

DQ

nice drop, alot of expression through these words,
flow was str8 liked it alot but the content i liked even better, one paragraph that caught my eye was this...



I like that line right there.. id have to say this peice was pretty damn solid nice drop hope to read more of your ish...

stay up, Peace...

yeah right. okay what i say is, a nice vocab is good but anything that you can spit in simple terms that has a powerful effect is ill. you don't need that big a vocab to be sick but it's nice to have one anyway too back you up. so i say this poem in particular didn't need that vocab boost i think it was nice, other then that check out diamond in the sky and stay up. ya know

i like it alot ur drop on this was on point & u had alot of emotions & feelings wit it i enjoyed eva minute of it keep up the good work ma