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-   -   victims of nature (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=170638)

night crawler 01-06-05 09:32 AM

victims of nature
 
this is a short one ...... drop sum feedback plz


once again innocent people have past away
no one saw this comin on such a regular day
this aint war , its just a battle against nature
a warning system could have saved some
now 2girlz and baby brother livin without a mother
she tryed to run before the destructive wave caught her
they had a chance to look for higher spaces
dead body's over few 100 maybe 1000 acres
whole family's were ripped apart
children livin as orphins with a broken heart
Now let us have a moment of silence
they in a better place ...under gods guidance
New year ended up a huge tragedy
grip your hands 2gether & say a prayer with me
its a miracle for those who made it out alive
printed on their minds .... means TRAUMATISED for LIFE

night crawler 01-06-05 09:33 AM

Uppin .....
Uppin .........

Effect 01-06-05 09:34 AM

that was kool man

5MICMEDALLION 01-06-05 10:43 AM

Nice joint,,,7.9/10

Your best lines,an a great opener to

once again innocent people have past away
no one saw this comin on such a regular day
this aint war , its just a battle against nature
a warning system could have saved some

night crawler 01-06-05 12:20 PM

iight kool mayne
ty for the feedback
............still uppin comon

night crawler 01-07-05 08:08 PM

yo WTF
DROP SUM FEEDBACK

The Militant 01-07-05 08:44 PM

yo i liked it i felt ya emotion did u make this up or is it some real shit either way its good nice structre and flow rhymin was good too....7/10
peace....

night crawler 01-07-05 08:47 PM

ty mayne ....this sum real shit
its bout that tsunami at asia
.........uppin

night crawler 01-08-05 08:43 PM

uppin' ...........

Print 01-09-05 05:22 AM

You need to broaden your emotion's, some line's just really were not needed like the "dead body's over few 100 maybe 1000 acres" line, just seemed like you ran out of idea's and just put that there...overall it's good because it's simple and let's you think about it more...just improve your vocab, and emotion's.

night crawler 01-09-05 11:37 AM

uppin...........
UPPIN...............

night crawler 01-10-05 01:41 PM

yo wut up with this shit
..........drop a lil feedback
damn ........

Yvonne 01-10-05 01:45 PM

yeah that was tight ...i liked the structure and the vicab was decent...nice job tho!!!...gd gd


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