just a keystyle let a nigga know is it strait if not give comments
 

yo i haven't been flowin sence i been here i just been
checkin out threadz and word play i commented on
few and now i wanna do my thang so comment this keystyle !!

i ain't got no threadz in my head//
this is off my dome i'ma make this shit shine like flecks of chrome//
holla out C-Bone fal as i flow wit a passion//
disrespect my fuckin mine and ya won't like my actions//
i'm like a universal soldier when i start attackin//
walkin around wearin heavy ass bullet-proof vest on ya chest//
when ya need to be gettin somethin fo ya head and neck//
cauze everythnig above ya shoulder i'm put strait to rest//
wit all this confliction on my back i'm carryin on a mission//
strike tha nerves in my body just to feel tha tension//
but instead of feelin that feel how hard i am hittin//
pinchin my thoughts just to spit out some word play//
throwin out mo blows than tha cops did wit RODNAY//
one day i'm gonna be tha greatest unless somebody stops mey//

i think you have potential homeboy...from what you show right chea..but keep it up..aight?

com'on peeps don't sleep

..im gonna be honest..that was whack-as-fuck..no disrespect.. you just got to try harder..and become bits more creative with your word-play..