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~Babylon~ vs THE_GAME
Battle Rules:
10-20 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topic: Suicidal thoughts(from a teens point of view) Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 01-10-05 at 02:27 PM Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in. |
THE_GAME has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-07-05 02:28 PM.
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suicidal thoughts, theres always so many/
its like a disease, inflicted upon plenty/ as often as pennys, its takin over kids lives/ makin them think the only solution to problems is to use the 9/ how can i survive, with lifes constant struggles/ when teen suicide numbers are blowin up like bubbles/ going 2 school, be ridiculed and made jokes about/ kids makin you want 2 die just from the words outta there mouth/ i consider u a hero, if as a teen u survived/ cuz im not sure if i will prevail...or if i will close my eyes/ will i rise, or will i just break down and cry/ or will I be the next to commit...teen suicide.../ QUICKIE |
~Babylon~ has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-07-05 07:22 PM.
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"Suicidal Thoughts" Livin' life and learning lessons, despite life's agressions fights with in, its mental supression, sentimental sessions wita psychiatrist forcing out feelings, tormenting and revealing scorching yet concealing, feeling con'd by how its appealing now I'm dealing, with what i've got from a life not worth living this knife n cursid sinning, cutting wrist, how worse is it gitting soon its thoughts of thrills, drinking alchole and lots of pills my soul rots and peals, the emotions left i cannot feal reaching physical peaks, cutting as the blood begins to leak muscles ache and creek, there's nothing this pain can teach pain is releasing pain, in truth what is possibly gained bad memories imprinted with in my brain, unremovable stains hard to sustain, idea's jumping outta context, must restrain regular relations and fealings, hard to just uptain physicaly and mentaly, and now i begin to crumble its simply not just simple see, my legs have begun to stumble I git clumsier and clumsier, and my life just doesnt change from the knife to my vains, I shackled my soul in chains and every day its the question, whats this same cycle got so god give me suggestions, than just these suicidal thoughts ~Babz~ |
Voted For: ~Babylon~
Both had good emotion, i was really feeling the struggle and pain in both drops. But it's pretty obvious that Babylon had a more complex verse, better vocab, nice wordplay...THE GAME, i think could have done better but as he stated himself this was a quickie: structure,flow and emotion was good but it lacked a bit of complexness... Babylon put a lot more thought and effort into it (or so it seems anyway) so that's why my vote goes to him...No hate... |
Thankz drama and mine aginst you will be a lot better
Anywayz UPPIN x 1 |
uppin for honest votes
~THE_GAME~ |
This was feedback posted for THE_GAME
not bad at all,kinda sensitive,watxch out for the structure,you rided the tpic well,
cuz im not sure if i will prevail...or if i will close my eyes/ will i rise, or will i just break down and cry/ dopess line that was damn good i felt it man,good drop overall |
ya thankz Damian i peeped some of your outher battles and you aint bad your self
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uppin this shit for votes yall uppin bitches
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Voted For: ~Babylon~
Babylon won this battle bcuz his verse was more thorough on the topic. I liked his structure and flow better n thought his was easier to read n understand. Word of advice for the game, dont try n do quickies on topicals cuz they are supposed to b more thought out 1 |
upps.............................................. ............
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uppin man not much to read on this battle
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This was feedback posted for THE_GAME
damn u'r a name biter you're gay...................
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