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-   -   uncomparible (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=171124)

Mentor 01-08-05 04:39 PM

uncomparible
 
HOOK:
what u seein' is uncomparable,
all these other rapperz are just so terrible
so much that they're unbearible
u were a hit, sure
atleast til' i came into da picture


VERSE:
all u rapperz do is babble on
til' one day u turn da rap channel on
and all u see is a rapper that's inspired by ludacris and J-Kwon
and guess who dat rapper be,
dat rapper defitnly be me
and i'm so hungry that i'll do anythin'
pay attention cuz there's no way i'll forget to mention
i spit verses dat release all ur tention
even if i do spend all my time in school detention
i'm nuthin but trouble
cuz i stunt more than a stunt double
and i'm bout to blow up bigger than a cunt bubble
but let's put all the trouble behind me
cuz i'm lookin fo' a contract to sign me


HOOK:
what u seein' is uncomparable
all these rapperz are so terrible
that they're unbearible
u were a hit, sure
atleast til' i came into da picture

Tha Unknown (Uk) 01-08-05 04:56 PM

nice drop.......................keep bring dat strong shit

Kawn Flixx 01-08-05 05:39 PM

aight, you did some things right and some wrong
1st,I like anyone who loves rap enough to do an open mic..
so I'm actually proud of you and your crew for doin OM's

2nd..just fix your structure..try changing the font
and centering it..thats what I do...

big ups to you and LNL

3rd..just re word some of your lines
you used som ok phrases..but use more emotion
and I'll admit the cunt bubble line was funny
so you didn't do too bad..and plus your new

ps..

Ysdat 01-08-05 05:40 PM

ok drop, some all right rhyme's in this. flow could be a bit better by evening your structure a bit.

wasnt feeling this line.

and i'm bout to blow up bigger than a cunt bubble.


this was funny, yet you drop was on a mor serious note. try using multi's.refer to tutorial's,one man band multi section)

overall 6/10

keep dropping.
remeber to add you link's other wise this will get closed.
return the feed check the link in sig.

Mentor 01-08-05 05:45 PM

kool thanx fo da tip homies i'll try to follow what u told me i do this mostly for the feedback as u can tell so it helps me alot when i get some escpecially when it's more deeper than a simple it was good and shit like that keep up tha tips and feedback and u'll leave me a more talented rapper every time

Da Future 01-08-05 06:13 PM

That Shit Was Sick.Keep It Up.

Mentor 01-08-05 07:22 PM

uppin fo' feedback playaz

-RIOT- 01-08-05 07:29 PM

yo, all i can say is.....to me it seems like you missin like 2 lines at tha end.....in otha words, you got 14/16 lines here.....but it was cool witout i guess.....6/10 keep it up 4real

Young Mix 01-08-05 08:39 PM

Dis was nice but to me,it seemed like ya hook and verse didnt go together
dat much.But it was still hot.I really wanna hear da beat to this
Keep it up

Young Mix

Mentor 01-08-05 08:48 PM

yo thanx man i was thinkin da same thing earlier but that's ok both still kick ass

Mentor 01-09-05 01:49 AM

c'mon now keep up da good feedback

Mentor 01-09-05 02:28 PM

let's get some more feedback


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