slum flow <~~~tell me what yall think yo
 

this shit is dedacated to everyone in the P's//
where the only way to eat is ta rob or bubble up keys//
you gotta enter wit ya head up when u enter the slum//
cus if you don't cat's don't hesitate to put ya name on they gun//
when u watch tv u gotta sit on the floor//
to prevent bein a casualty from the outside war//
there's only one way out through school or thru death//
do ya home work or bust ya gun to put props in ya rep//
we all tryin to make change off of this dirt//
it's not rare when cats get popped fa sellin in opposite turf//
and these little girls rapidly havin littles girls//
they little world is paused cus they opened they thighs//
makin it worse fa they moms now they sleepin out side//
why we all gotta get brought up like this//
why good ones get caught in the fire and they life is ended so quick//
and the pigs don't want to give us a break//
always knockin us fa puttin food on our plates like they badge is at steak//
cus studyin fa test wont feed you and ya peeps//
only way the rents paid is when you get paid in the streets//
and ya moms found out she can't get the lease//
the only entertainment you got is ya dreams when you sleep//
and white folks don't want to hire you//
cus you were baggy jeans and timbs and the last 9 to 5 fired you//
but it's all good i got mad love fa the slum//
i wish Beverlry Hills jocks could trade they place wit the slum//
then they'd find out what it's like not havin a dad//
and the only way to eat is when you slingin up crack//
cus balogna slices alone don't fill ya gut//
if you make it out this jungle u make it from luck//
and we all hungry my belly's all in a brunch//
and the 3-year-old kids eat they boogers fa lunch//
if a suicidal white boy could have a day in this life//
he'll get cured real quick and then appreciate life//
cus in the slum niggas stay up shit they neva settle//
it's a hard knock life it opens the doors in the ghetto//

1ne

holla back yall let me know what yall think

fa real though don't sleep on this fam i need yalls opinion

c'mon why yallz sleepin on me yo
i need opinions

lol...dont trip lil' homie..ya shit was real...the flow was coo..remind me of styles..but keep practicin..i feltt what cha was sayin..

Got to say man, I thought this was aight,

This is a well thought and deep piece man, I like it pretty much, overall it was nice. These four lines were ill man: -

cus studyin fa test wont feed you and ya peeps//
only way the rents paid is when you get paid in the streets//
and ya moms found out she can't get the lease//
the only entertainment you got is ya dreams when you sleep//

i need feedback

i need feedback

YA SHIT WAS UPPIN JUST LIKE A REAL NIGGA PEEP MY BATTLE
KEEP IT COMING AND DONT LET ANYBODY TELL YOU DIFFERENT

REMEMBER KEEEEEEP WRRRIIIIIIIIITING!!!!!!1
HOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

on tha real i was diggin ya flow...and i felt what u wrote...tytework flow...keep spittin and keep doin ya dam thang...pz..~1~

Ayo, 1ne, Listen cuzin, I AM feelin your shit dog, dont listen to these geeks man, i went through the same shit tryin to get these niggaz to feel the block style, you know, the real, i am glad to see somebody else that know whats poppin out here, i just signed up for this board so holla at me playa for what eva dog, should be dropin somethin soon. but keep doin u, ight. And IM feelin that "bubble up keys" line, you know how it is.

Peace

yo thanx fa yallz comments B, a nigga really appreciate that shit, fa sho

uppin fa feedback

I can't personally connect to some of what you said in this rhyme, but the way you put things helped me to see what you meant. A lot of the images were very tight. Nothing was glamorized or blown out of proportion, just stated plainly. My only problem was some of the lines didn't quite rhyme right.

Quote of Note...
and these little girls rapidly havin littles girls//
they little world is paused cus they opened they thighs//
makin it worse fa they moms now they sleepin out side//
Now that's harsh.

Peace