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FlOw InTeLLiGeNt vs d.j em sce
Topical Battle Rules:
10-20 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting No Hate Votes No D/R Votes Topic: A poem to the love of your life Minimum posts to vote: 300 Check in by: 01-10-05 at 04:56 AM Must drop verse in 30 minutes after check in. |
damn 30 min after check in........oh well....good thing i really do love her that gives me hella emotion.........lol
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d.j em sce has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-10-05 04:28 AM.
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hurry up and check in....................................
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FlOw InTeLLiGeNt has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-10-05 04:39 AM.
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damn i thought you where gonna decline....but i see what you where doing.....tring to get more time.......
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Sometimes i feel lonely, and sometimes i feel distanced Sometimes im estatic and you never seem to miss it Youre always there when i need you, even when i dont Ever stop loving me ? it's not possible that you wont I see it in your eyes, and when i look deep into your soul Im mesmerized by your charm, beauty swallows me whole When i'm depressed, youre there to wipe away the tears It was you, who stuck through, the strife in all these years You never let me go, never made the wrong decision Beauty is only skin deep, but it cuts deep like an incision Right into my heart, where you'll have a place to stay Youre my life, my future wife, it will happen one day Im happy to say, that you definately complete me And you can have my heart, cherish it completely Because your love is unmatched, and i really need it Just please try, not to cry, and continue to believe it There are no others, who could ever take your place And it fills my day, when i see a smile cross your face Your inner beauty is a testament, of the future we got Only one question to answer, Do you love me or not ? |
damn i might not make it............................damn
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got 9 minutes hurry up...............................
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alright my name is SEAN and her name is SHEA
(pronounced..SHAY) we broke up and now we are back together forever.... Sean and Shea forever Sentimental thoughts keep me reminiscing on the day we first met Every thought attacked my emotions, but still I try not to forget As our eyes locked I would soon believe in love at first sight Not knowing my heart would be broken, I kept your smile bright Approaching a new level in a relationship, it hurt once “WE” became no more Now that the truth was spoken I was wounded in a way I had never felt before Despite the demise to my first real relationship, you still are the one I adore Sensations would almost immediately grow stronger day after day However, I would hide my love but every night I would pray after Shea Exiled from my own passion, I would shed tears before I would sleep Awaiting a phone call that would guarantee Shea’s affection to keep Formulating a love that will last forever, I set my soul for this mission Obstacles lie ahead, but our love shall stop, as I await shea’s decision Reasonable doubt lingers on, as the question remains in her mind Extreme measures dwell in my midst, but love has left me blind, Visions of eternal love wonder in a maze, so this I must confess Ever since the first day, I did nothing for you but try my best Real love is what we now have, Shea I thank you for saying yes my SIG is not part of this poem but i wrote it just write now...it goes with this poem but if i added it i would exceed the number of lines i can use.... PS I LOVE MY GIRLFREIND |
nice poem man...that shit is good.........
i woudl have made mine better but i posted it kinda fast becuz i hate no show L's |
uppinf or voters or atleast some type of feedback.
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This was feedback posted for FlOw InTeLLiGeNt
checkin feed back....................................
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Voted For: FlOw InTeLLiGeNt
OK DJ GOOD DROP YOU HAD GOOD POEM HER NICE VOCAB WAS KINDA STRECHED BUT THATS NICE IN A PEOM I LIKED THE WAY YOU USED THE NAMES YET YOU FAILED TO USE THE FREEFLOW OF A POEM TO YOUR FULL ADVANTAGE TO WIN HERE YOUR IMAGERY WAS GOOD IN SOME PLACES BUT LACED IN OTHERS BADLY A 7/10 FLOW GOOD DROP GOOD VOCAB GOOD STRUTURE AS WELL GOOD FLOW TO IT WOULD MAKE A NICE SPOKEN WORD PIECE AS WELL GOOD ENDER HERE BUT DJS WAS ALSO GOOD STILL YOU HAD A IMAGE ALL THE WAY THROUGH I COULD SEE THE LOVE AND WHY ALL THROUGH YOU BASICALLY WALKED ME THROUGH YOUR HEART THIS WAS A VERY NICE PIECE A 9/10 BASICALLY FLOW HAD BETTER IMAGERY AND THAT WINS IN PEOEMS EMOTION AND IMAGERY BOTH HAD EMOTION BUT LIKE I SAID DJ WENT OFF A LITTLE AND THAT HURT HIM IN MY VOTE BOTH ARE GOOD POETS BUT FLOW HAD THIS. BOTH PLEASE RETURN A HONEST VOTE BACK LINKS IN THE SIG |
thanks for the feedbakc,...................................
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