fake (short piece)
 

i've said i hear- 'em-speak these queers-that-creep/
they got tears-that-seep when i get near-that-freak/
they schemed on, they so pathetic they'd fear-the-weak/
plus they fiending for sex like lear-for-Greek's/
haters a subject played to death but never ending/
work it out like beyonce, their parents money they spending/
mines legit and thats a bigger difference than rap and hip-hop/
so watch me sober up these clowns and make they trip-stop/
all are just sheep in the flock: no distinguishing features/
they parody's of real players, just sub-human creatures/
these cash crooks, cant acquire G's in society/
they pass bucks, i got a higher steez when i apply-a-squeeze/

this is hot yo

this was aight...just work on tha flow homeboy..you'll be coo..

Yo it was nice man,

Feeling it, seemed nice and complexed,

Interesting kept your attention, The first three lines set the tone, they made a great start.

Also these lines were tight: -
haters a subject played to death but never ending/
work it out like beyonce, their parents money they spending/
mines legit and thats a bigger difference than rap and hip-hop/
so watch me sober up these clowns and make they trip-stop/

Can you give my piece, Single Verse some feed. Thanks

nice again johnny not ur hottest piece but still better than half the shit on here. the flow was pretty good and ya rhyme scheme was heavy like usual. ya been listenin to ya "ya know ma steez? " cos the verse seemed to work well wit that. anyway check mine ninja philosophy aight peace cuz

cheers fella's for taking your time out to rate and reply on this, feedback is always appricaited.

uppin this^^ my old piece is getting more reps now than this new one!

this was an aiight piece.. ..could've been worded better but you had some good ideas.. ..keep spittin


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I liked this, thought it was blunt and forward and that come well to effect, the concept was well described and well thought... Flow was used with good amounts of multies and kept syllable perfect, more internal rhymes woulda made it better... The vocab was aight, simple and it helped with the little amounts of wordplay, thought you coulda made the piece longer too, feeling what you saying though... Keep em coming and elevating...

Peez...

thanks for the suggestions, i'm always trying to elavate, hey, arent we all?

uppin again.

Nice piece here. Kind of a played topic, but you did it well. My favorite lines came at the end...

these cash crooks, cant acquire G's in society/
they pass bucks, i got a higher steez when i apply-a-squeeze/
Nice multis.

The only thing that I would suggest is to add in some more devices such as metaphores or similies.
Ex:
Make it my mission to put cuts and cracks in those...
Emcees who come faker than Michael Jackson's nose
That's just my style though. You have your own. Know what I mean?

Peace

hahaha dawg johnny 6-feet, jay, dude these kids reply with like "i liked it but then again i didn't like it" replies, some of them replied with shit that like they didn't even know they were talking about but thinking they were making a contribution to your feelings... all i gotta say dawg is... respect, nice flow, loved the topic, keep on keepin' on

peace