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-   -   You Let This Die (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=171463)

Untraceable 01-10-05 04:57 PM

You Let This Die
 
You Let This Die

you came into my world and i had gotten inspired to live

you inspired to give you my all and i even had you at my crib

we now reminisce about how we never see one another

i missed you on a daily basis so thoughts began to hover

do i love her? or is this just somthing thats to good to be true

just a new beginin now cuz that spark began to fade, i lose

i got abused emotions floatin around inside of my head girl

my world's swirled and coastin outa control it spins and twirls

i have misunderstood thoughts of how your more hurt than me

can we stay together? na cuz you never tried or made plans see

the entrancing times begin to fade dig up dirt for this mans grave

i evade you cuz i begin to die inside when our looks had strayed

into one anothers direction but i was tired of giving you exceptions

your perceptions of me huggin on other girls was my only inperfection

i was directed that it wasnt a deal but now ya say the wounds wont heal

i feel so bad but you also had to steal my heart in the time of an appeal

real love? nope you yeild from showing your lust when im around

pounding heart beats is the only sound this silence is a key now

see how that were not escalatin in this relationship anymore why?

cuz you never tried, forever lied, and because........you let this die

:thumbup:

~Lady Fiya~ 01-10-05 08:32 PM

i must say first off your flow was nice, it stood out right away.. i like how you took a different approach in the situation, kinda blaming the other person say you did this, and this is why.. the tone was almost angry and disturbed.. especially from these selected lines:

i have misunderstood thoughts of how your more hurt than me

can we stay together? na cuz you never tried or made plans see
...... all in all this was a creative poem.. i don't recommend you change up anything..
keep doing what you doing, DROP some more poetry lol.. stay up, aight.. :thumbup:

MC IgGY 01-10-05 09:40 PM

the flow was good through, liked the topic and the way u described it

Untraceable 01-12-05 12:01 AM

thanks peeps.....yea.....i wrote this cuz thats the reasons why i broke up wit my ex............cuz well just read the last line..........lol.....but yeah ill write more poetry......and i kinda rushed to finish this poem too......so yeah......but lady fiya........i think we should do a poetry collab......cuz thatd be tight........and u know i been wantin too for a while......holla @ me pm about it.....or aim-daw87.....thanks ma

upppin for some more feed....leave links and ill leave feed :thumbup:

Untraceable 01-12-05 05:35 PM

uppity up up up :thumbup:

Untraceable 01-13-05 03:42 PM

up up up up up..........leave links and ill rtf

50hater_killer 01-13-05 11:03 PM

hey it had good structure and good vocab and kind of good imagry str8 poems home.

Ysdat 01-14-05 01:29 AM

hey yo this is a good peice.
I know nothing about poetry so i can comment to much. But i enjoyed reading this.

Untraceable 01-14-05 11:00 PM

thanks fam's and fi-del you know who i be..........so get at me on aim and ill give you pointers :thumbup:

uppin for more feed...

Untraceable 01-15-05 11:04 PM

up up up up up....

DQ 01-16-05 08:52 AM

Omg...can you read my mind or something? Because I could totally relate with everything you stated. This was straight hotness spit from the core. Vocab, structure n flow were tight and you worded everything in a very vivid way. Definately enjoyed reading this drop...good job man!

DQ

Untraceable 01-16-05 06:53 PM

thanks ma...no problem.......this actually was personal feelings and most of my poetry is........so yeah its not too out of the blue tha you can relate to what i dropped.....thanks for the feed....leave links and ill rtf........
uppin

Diversity 01-17-05 12:50 AM

solid drop... kinda heart felt seems like iv'e wrote ish like that. Neway at first i kinda thought your use of vocab was a little weak but the further i read the better this peice got. Your flow was solid never really fell off, i guess i can say it was a nice peice to read, and you stuck on topic so ima have to give you a 6/10.

nice drop, stay up...

Peace...

Untraceable 01-17-05 01:36 AM

thanks man........appreciate the feed....is that an alias.....cuz u said
Quote:
seems like iv'e wrote ish like that
....

uppin for more feed.....leave links and ill return it

Diversity 01-17-05 02:16 AM

naw im new to this site... had this name for awhile, used to go to 411 i had another name... Frequency, ionno i've been doing this ish a looonnnggg time.... but nope im not an alias.

Keep droppin
Peace...


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