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Hells Fire Vs. Verbal Abuse
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic: Natural Disasters |
check. topic= ADI.
VA i checked out what you PM'ed me about all i can do is give you the points u deserve and take away his.. but youll have a title match next week.. unless you no show this battle thats the only way you wont |
yo was gone on vacation checkin in
checkin in sorry was gone for about a week
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am i still good to drop or am i dqed because if im dqed why drop
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natural disasters:
true life, i survived 9-11... ENJOY i managed to decline a flight of stairs. three and a half limbs still fair, one wound bare. eighty five flights remain, dared to risk it. and willed to live, i wasnt gonna be a 9-11 statistic. my name wont be listed...i motivated myself. did you imagine success, using God's help? or were you soul determined, fearless of death? wit kicked in, like natural selection at best? how did you make it to ground level? breached the fire hose & bent the metal... so the hinge of the spindle wouldnt give. at this point, id do anything it took to live. my train of thought: "make it home to mrs." and this is...ayesha. my at home business. what were her concerns about the incident. she was a bit shaken up, and a bit sentament. she was probaly the only reason im here & alive. because? shes my inspiration, my wife, my pride. hadn't you survived, what would she have done.? move states with our son & collected the retirement fund... i guess. youve reached level one, whats next? catch my breath, what else was there to do but rest? there was no sight of escape, light was dim. couldnt help but think what my day might have been... ...like if i had listened, and stayed home that eleventh. see, i caught the flu four days prier...the seventh. tell me your post ditress feelings & thoughts. how on earth did you manage to run 4 blocks... down the streets of NYC... with a limb cut at the knee? peramedic assistance is well expected at a catasrophe. they tossed me in a mobil bed & escaped by foot. had no identity, since my face was caped in soot. looking back, do you regret what's happened. no, you cant change the past and, infact im laughing. im so glad that im back in action, i cant begin to mention. my physician sewed my limb and...gave me an extension. God bless those inventions. and for the next few years? i plan to spend goodwill time with fam, like sam from cheers. my regards are for those who lost one, words of tribute... ...will surely be perceptive. thank you sir, your truth is truely respected. only had 40 lines to tell it. idk if it made the cut. |
italic is the interview host.
norm font is the voice of the victim. |
Natural disaster
Poseidon slowly moving, natives of india running the coast
waters gone slowly hoverin, where noise once was now ghost the horizon and sun are engulfed in the madness, people froze seein the wall comin and flushed like massless, boats that choze natives scream but when running, it only sounds like a whisper havin people drown quickly no breath, heart pounds turn casper ritcher shifts makes all believe, white mist no longer breese of wave crashes like kraken in the sea, substance razor hits face for shave mach 3 was close to the 500 mile per hour tsunami wave turned once mountain n coast tile into a now desolate cave sea fludded land leavin only the ocean to garlg destruction sea horses roamin the earth by the caves fragle seduction posiedon sculps the people into nice castles, for heaven on high children and relatives wake up in shambles, for the no good bye common plates slide down cabinet, instantainous 100,000 died glass that shatter resemble deadm, spontanious hell-pounded tide People in walls, struggle not yet done, water buses children home water engulfs all, no where left to run, water chaos written poem night shade makes glistenin on deaths face, people lyin in wait might of men fade as gods show myth mace, mid evil seein face. here it is |
only dropped a twenty off the top of head...nice drop good luck...
my topic was the tsunami that hit recently |
my 3 vote be in tomorrow
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I felt verbal more on this topic not becuase it ws all about 9-11 I just felt the emotion and passion in this topic as if I was in thier mysefl. So over all I give thise one to verbal no hate peace.
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thank you, best mod of jan.
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agree with killer, sounds like u were actually there mate :P. good going fire was a hard choice to make but i think abuse has got the better rythm.
my vote : verbal abuse |
heres my votes
mista vs valor
only got one vote not to be mean but 50 hater gotta go into detail with the vote i saw on anothers battle you left a weak description... |
VA:
you had a good verse.. the emotion was decent, there wasnt a ton of emotion but it didnt lack either.. decent structure.. good flow.. good consistency.. i liked the story-line idea.. it worked pretty well for you.. imagery could have been better but it was also good.. overall : 7.5/10 Hells Fire: first of all this is the best topical piece you have wrote.. second good name change the bwall name was too much of a hassle to write. anyways you had a good verse also.. and the best thing in your verse was the imagery it outshined verbals imagery by tons.. every line was descriptive... but you could have wrote the verse better in general.. it was too hard to follow.. i couldnt see where u were going with it so your consistently suffered.. emotion was ok.. structure was pretty good... overall :7/10 vote: verbal abuse |
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