|
The Judgement Day- Single
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=171775
^black qweens dope Single...LINK The Judgement day... Chorus: The judgement day is full of blood & laced with Hate So be careful of every step you make, its all about Fate.. try and survive as long as possible, no matter the Hate Create your own pride and dignity, then it’ll all Relate.. Verse: A lota people not caring when it happens, but it’ll Hurt Don’t even bother saying no one told you, be Alert Stand strong cause theres people comin in Strongly Don’t let up and you’ll end up winning as a Emcee Make sure your always able to be understood Properly Using your brain over body strength is called Strategy People not wanting to prey for the Judgement Day To many scared trying to think of way to force a Delay It might be another war but its not, it’s all a Mission Bound to be people in the hospital do for an Incision Fight, and the day wont hit as hard in your Division Lots dieing in front of your eyes, such a bad Condition Shells flying over your shoulders, cant hear Anything All thats left is your heart and dignity, or maybe Nothing Only thing left to do is try to be strong, so you Last Help people when it hits, or you’ll be cursed, real Fast By the time you end up realizing that your still Alive There might not be anything left for you to Thrive.. -Parallel Chorus: The judgement day is full of blood & laced with Hate So be careful of every step you make, its all about Fate.. Try and survive as long as possible, no matter the Hate Create your own pride and dignity, then it’ll all Relate.. |
That was nice yo, ya structure was nice the flow was nice everything was nice about it, reall nice... I enjoy readin ya shit cuz its tyte keep postin shit like this.
-LyL PyRo |
It sucked.......you suck..the both of you,....suck.
|
"EH" it was ok, not decent but it was ok. I think you didnt try to be "real" on this piece. Your back in the elevation process homie. Keep it up alright. wun.
|
It wasn't a bad piece...best part was the emotion you showed in the piece which made kept me reading. Some decent imagery. But the vocab and wordplay wasn't that deep, also you seemed to changed the way it should be written to bars would rhyme, which actually took away from flow.
example: Only thing left to do is try to be strong, so you Last Help people when it hits, or you’ll be cursed, real Fast keep elevating and the pieces will get better each time... take time to check my piece "Floating Soul" out |
yea...i lacked here..i need to get back at my real life shit....but yea i kidna changed shit around......
yea iunno this one lacked...pz |
this was a cool piece tho - it wasn't near your best - but this was still cool - you did lack in some areas but overall i was feelin you fam - 6.5/10
|
Truthfully I Wasnt Really Feeling It...
I Liked The Concept And Where You Were Trying To Go With It... But You Actually Writing Elements Were Weak... Like Your Rhyming, Example:Strongly/Emcee???... Sorry Mayn Thats Pretty Forced... The Chorus Could Use Some Work Aswell... Your Chorus Was To Much Like Verse Lines... Tryn Make It Short And More Cetchy... Not All Long And Verse Like... Uuuuuum Thats About It, You Actually Didnt Really Need A Chorus... Since It Was Only One Verse, But Its All Good... Thats All I've Got To Say... Stay Up And Keep Writing Mayn... .One. |
yea....i was wack...:(.....uppin
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:11 PM. |