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Beauty of the Rainstorm
WRITTEN IN THE PER SPECTIVE OF A 5 YEAR OLD Beauty of the Rainstorm There’s a gentle breeze against my neck The afternoon air is cool and relaxing The rain has been keeping a fairly steady pace Puddles have formed in the streets and everyone has run inside to hide from a few drops of water Are they made of cotton candy? I know I am But, the water is coolly relaxing If the breeze kicks up just right—my legs get misted Truth be told, my feet are sopping wet and slightly dirty I had been walking bare foot before the rain began They’re cold—but I won’t let that thought reach the conscious front of my mind I cannot budge from this spot Not for food Not for drink And certainly not to get a pair of socks or flip-flops gege if yo uon hit me up on aim hazy be crazy |
yea thanks for teh replies
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nice piece ma
i wasn't really feeling this poem as much as some of your others but it was still nice and i'm sure u r made of cotton candy cuz ur soooo sweet lol Keep it Up HOLLA |
ay Hazy...I read this piece when i was browsin on HHT, yesterday i think..n I loved it..When i read it on there tho, I dont think you specified that it was written from the perspective of a 5 year old..and i liked it better that way..cuz i didnt see as the view of a 5 year old, i seen it as the view of Hazy..just the little wild-child coming out as the rain clouds did...This piece had mad imagery tho, and the 'beauty of the rainstorm' is always a nice mental image..I dont know, but you took something as simple as sittin out n watchin the rain and demonstrated how meaningful and almost spiritual it can be...really a great concept..the rainstorm giving you the chance to be one with yourself..even if its only for a short while........i could go on all day...let me just say great piece hazy..feelin it as alwayz...stay up with this gyrl..its all luv.
peace. |
I actually liked this poem... it was a refreshing look into the perspective of a 5 year old's mentality, it wasn't as dark & gloomy or forcably deep as some of the other poems on this board, the cotton candy lines were my favorite it was an analogy that a 5 year old would say... I think it shows true skill tht you can write a light but impactful peice like this, much luv gurl... peace
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this a pretty good poem, in the sense of thinkin it through a child's eyes its nice.. ..kinda has kiddy peaceful feelin to it.. ..keep postin
¤DoS¤ |
w00t
Ooh. it's eighty degrees where I'm sitting right now. But thinking of being wet, and the wind whipping past. Seems a lot cooler. Nice.
Question, in the end you aint able to move. Is it cause you too scared to move or because you like what you seeing and you don't wanna move? |
^n fah hazy.
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this is a great poem!
i liked the perspective, we all are 5 years olds from time to time! jointz |
nevro its stuck in the beauty so immensed in it you cant move......thanks for th ereply........dagrl GURL thanks for the up and reply.....thank you thank you thank you
as for the other ppls thank you very much for takin the time and readin wha ti got to say |
This was quite simple but ill in tha same
way nah mean ... To me it had alot of depth , more in it if u look and read it in more depth ... feel me? Mesmorized by this rain ... the beauty fo` you to not want to move ... dope.,.. Keep spittin da realness, pz ~1~ |
i agree with dime... even though it was simple, it seemed deep.. i dunno, i took it into the perspective of a 5 year old not wanting to go home... or maybe thats just my messed mind at play... but then again, people take poems to all different perspectives, even if the writer didnt intend it to sound that way.. but awesome peice, i liked the story line alot... keep it flowin
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beautiful....but i guess i'm mentally 5 too....as thats how i see life sometimes..(!!!!)...nah only kidding...but seriously...it was a very nice piece...i was totally feeling this...its nice (to me anyway) to see the 'simple beauty', or at least the the 'simple detail' (well its hard to explain, but i hope you know what i mean) in things like the rain falling...the puddles forming...or trees being blown by the wind...or someone's umbrella flying away cos of the wind...or a dead pigeon on the street...litter on the floor...a trashed building...not all beautiful...well....erm....i'm going off a bit now...but you get the point....looking at the simplistics of life and the world around us....both 'beautiful' and 'ugly'....in a world of so much complexties....
anyway...very nice piece (and believe it or not, i did a similar one a while back, i'll 'up' it for ya if you want...not as good as this...but its still aight...!!!...).....respect..... |
Good Jo I cant Rememba Whut I did Yestaday Let alone How I felt when I was 5....Holla At My Scripture
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uppin for som eluv
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