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Personify vs •Para¶el•
Battle Rules:
16-30 lines Topic: Essence of Time Crew Battle:The Establishment vs. Non-Phixional Con.Tentz No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting 5 days after check in's...try and check right away as soon as possible...then no oen will call you a bitch;) Minimum posts to vote: 300 Check in by: 01-25-05 at 09:59 PM Must drop verse in 7200 minutes after check in. |
•Para¶el• has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-22-05 10:04 PM.
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Personify has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-22-05 10:25 PM.
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alright i kinda wrote this about me and my past days as a younger child back when i was 5 to 12 or so...but yo check it...only vote if you understand it please..:
...Essence of Time.. Back when I was young, I greeted life a Disturbance People suggested questions that didn’t make Sense Or it was just that I was to young to know, Mentally I didn’t have a disability, my life was just Structured But in time when I started to grow up, the curse Cured I learned more about life & the essence’s was Insured The imagery was off and I couldn’t see the Picture Other people might of thought I was just Immature Some thought I needed ratlin but I was just Young Compounded in the days of life, what went Wrong I was a little child confused and couldn’t think Right Lots doubting me, but im guaranteed to shine Bright Taking life as a surprise, seeing less of Originality A real pocket full when I can never think Naturally I had to break the haters and run from the Debaters Trying to stay away from the creations of the Creators And then parents nagging on me for my Homework Trying to stay normal & stop myself from going Berserk God in the background watching over me, Forever Ready for anything that hits, me & god are Together God resting over my shoulder, cause of my Policy’s Motivation always there to move me, Independently So the essence’s stay to my brain at all times, Properly And now I know everything will stay together, Instantly |
Alpha Warmth is disappearing as I look around, Moreover, watch as I leave the home that I found, I object to this decision, God hear my sound! I refuse to be cut from which I once was bound. Mezzo My home is nothing now, I cannot remember, What sparked this ember to engage my anger? Why do I feel as if my life is nothing but sand, That some man can end it with the press of his hand? I look as I feel, helpless and without control, Outside my body is warm but inside I feel cold. So many changes impact me I can hardly move, Having to leave my old home yet again I do not approve. Why must I lose everything to try and regain it back? Is there something wrong with me? What do I lack? I once crawled, walked, but now I must run, To try and keep up with the life of my son. I thought retirement was easy, meant you were done, I have a remaining stretch to go though, last one. Omega Once proud and tall reduced to a foreign figure, The presence of my old strength inside me still lingers. God cursed my life, from the birth until my death, He made sure I had pain for every single breath. The changes in my body and mind cursed many lives, People don’t know how many times I wished I’d die. But when it comes to meet him, I will say I loved it, That I cherished every day, perhaps every minute. In the end I question my self, what really is time? Is it the essence of our existence, or the existence of our mind? |
nice drop man...this ones gonna be a close one....well lets get soem votes..uppin
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Word, can't wait for the votes. If they ever come :/
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This was feedback posted for •Para¶el•
Checking the polls here.....................................
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Voted For: •Para¶el•
this one was hard becuase you both did a good job congrats guys but sadly one has to win and I have to go with him, becuase his imagry and vocab was good opener-closure was good his emotion was a little better but you both had that but he had it as if I was in this topical and lived it myself these are the lines that helped him. I didn’t have a disability, my life was just Structured But in time when I started to grow up, the curse Cured I learned more about life & the essence’s was Insured The imagery was off and I couldn’t see the Picture Other people might of thought I was just Immature Some thought I needed ratlin but I was just Young Compounded in the days of life, what went Wrong 8/10 rt the fav on da links |
thanks alot glad you see i had good imagery and vocab....one thing i for sure had better was vocab...good looks...uppin
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This was feedback posted for •Para¶el•
Checking the polls paralel didnt want me to vote, oh well.
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^yea he was gonna vote on are battle but i didnt want it to seem like a d/r..cuz me and him are homies.....but uppin anyway
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Ya, well Para no hate but sometimes your verses didn't rhyme, wondering why no one is seeing that. Still a close battle. uppin
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^young and wrong didnt rhyme but all the others did...if you disagree then you need to learn how to rhyme with non perfect words...
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I found 2. One line ended with mentally which didn't rhyme with anything, and then young and wrong. The ending sort of rhymed, but all they were were ly. Doesn't matter to me though. Uppin.......
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