4 bars of intoxicated confusion
 

I'm drunk as fuck and my thoughts are fuckin stuck..
With luck i might jump to dope from rhymes that suck..
is it that my concepts played? i don't show emotion?
ideas as broad as the ocean and I still lack devotion?
I need a resperator to breathe, and investegator to lead..
an investigation on why my emotions never get feed..
I'm pourin my soul into the net, like a salmon i'm trapped..
Rappin in this game but for what? cause backgammon is black..

I actually liked that shit alot man. I mean, obviously not up to your usual standards, but it's excellent to even have a little bit of clarity in the drunken state. Good shit man, Emotions was felt homie. Respect.

-CJ-

Im wiv Jay.

Im a fan of that little piece. Small and to the point. Good vocab and rhymes and nice structure and flow, nice one bro, you should try and build on that

im feelin this shit
this shit is pretty tight
good vocab
nice structure

this was actually pretty good for a 4 bar rap...

this was a cool lil piece homie........especially for it being an all liquored up drop, lmmfao.

of course i agree with c.j.'s earlier remark, this isnt up to your normal standards however its still better than most cats' joints. i felt the feeling behind the words in your verse.....deep. just dont let anything (large or petty) get to you. for real. shit is only as frustrating as you let it become. never give up on yourself...or the dream. 'hold it down' and 'keep up' that drive. word.

boost the crhyme rate fam...

s.v.

.

upping this..just because i think it's funny i did it when i was drunk