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"The Story" Just look please
"The Story" VERSE 1 Im short of breathe, torn away from my family and friends, Distraught with grief in a place that I can't stand bein in, When im spoken of you hear words that they've branded me with, Im not happy as I seem... Though I just casually pretend, As we begin, though we'd never imagine the hazards we in, They're brought to life so vividly like waves crashin againest, The boulders... And on my shoudlers are smashin with dents, Problems are attractin so easily, im like magnets to them, Picture them approachin with no end, so a chapter begins, That was already hittin me so hard when acted againest, Can I enter the good life? Too bad i can't practice it and, Maybe live in paradise, too ridiculous to even imagine it then, So if I can't even imagine it.. I guess it doesn't exsist, Still curious as to how I could be runnin from this, The same style, the same mind, same hope with life as this, I think hes even got the same open mic. as this... CHORUS Im runnin from myself... This is all that I got... So this is my story wether you like it or not... Im runnin from myself... This is all that I got... So this is my story wether you like it or not... VERSE 2 I bet your convinced my lifes nice... speakin of nice, Its feel wonderful to be in love, then cheated on twice, Speakin of twice, its just like a repeat of my life, Arrested two times in 1 week, reality class meetins at 5, So when were speakin of my life, don't be speakin of mine, And let me adjust your vision, and give a peice at a time, Rewindin to the bitch who cheated.. with deceit in ya mind, Picture the most beautiful chick, then picture me in the line, At the front... Gettin ass, but then she reaches behind, Pull two bitches in front of me... lets go that penis of mine, And im dropped like that, you'd think it teaches the mind, 2 months later im doin this chick, just a sequel to my, Past relationship... Gets outta hand, and reaches a line, Where I jump outta that shit, and i mean it this time, Im done with relationships, as mean as that might, Sound... Only person im talkin to... Is Jesus tonite... CHORUS Im runnin from myself... This is all that I got... So this is my story wether you like it or not... Im runnin from myself... This is all that I got... So this is my story wether you like it or not... VERSE 3 More present tense for the moment, did I mention, I could say i was depressed and noone would question, I switched schools last year, feelin stressed then, First dude I met this shcool year is my best friend, Swore i would have his back if they might test them, Now wouldn't like to do anything more, than just fight him, Long story short, bitch is tryna get my chick, See, i gave up with relationships, like i said i did, Funny that somebody can promise themself shit, Then go around ya own back and break the promise just as quick, And I don't care if I ryhme, im just stating the truth, Cause half the statements people say in the booth, Is bullshit... They tryna say they bust for cheese, Theres a road outside my house, so im just as street, This is my yellow brick road, from past to present, So tell them who it was if they ask who said it... Its that real CHORUS Im runnin from myself... This is all that I got... So this is my story wether you like it or not... Im runnin from myself... This is all that I got... So this is my story wether you like it or not.... Not tryna be sick... Just lettin ya know... |
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^^^ that link was a proper feed back,
but u must change ya other one and make it look like this one... 2 line feed back wont count..... |
uppin for feedback................................
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yo i was feelin dis...i liked da first verse dis section right here
Im not happy as I seem... Though I just casually pretend, As we begin, though we'd never imagine the hazards we in, They're brought to life so vividly like waves crashin againest, The boulders... And on my shoudlers are smashin with dents, Problems are attractin so easily, im like magnets to them, Picture them approachin with no end, so a chapter begins, That was already hittin me so hard when acted againest, Can I enter the good life? Too bad i can't practice it and, Maybe live in paradise, too ridiculous to even imagine it then, it all seemed to flow togetha....nice subject stayed on topic thru-out is dat true??if it is i feel for ya man....good shit....keep it comin |
thanks man.... uppin for feedback... stop sleepin for god sakes
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this was pretty good.. nd i kno its all true so it made it even better.. i think u could work a little on vocab.. but u stayed on topic and the structure was good.. i liked how it all went together.. over all 7.8/10 keep it up
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i was really feelin dis fam...now dat im in NOK...guess i gotta get down wit some collabs...you wit it?
hope so...dis was hot...i gives it a 8/10...and dats off ya talent, not tha fact dat we reppin da same crew...PM me wit some shit fam...~1~ |
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overall this was pretty good....nicely used multis...even though there were only a few of them i like how you placed them...the imagery was nice too...about the waves and boulders....vocab was good...even though to me it doesnt really matter...keep them comin...RTF in sig..False Idols or Chinese Food.
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ight drop ight drop. nice imagery n some pretty tight multies in there worked around.
good overall drop, pretty consistent considering how long it was. keep doin ya thing onestep RETURN THE FAVOR+1+ http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=177821 |
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