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Dopeman vs Drama Queen
Battle Rules:
20 - 30 Lines No Crew Votes No Recycling No Biting Topic: The Mirror Minimum posts to vote: 20 Check in by: 02-16-05 at 04:37 PM Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in. |
Drama Queen has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-14-05 04:38 PM.
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Buck.Shot has ACCEPTED this battle on 02-15-05 10:38 AM.
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The Mirror
. . . ...A broken mirror means seven years of being unhappy... I smashed it into a thousand pieces the day you left me Because what could be worse than not havin you by my side Losing you, on who I relied, even took away my pride Calling you all day and night,was begging you on my knees But you avoided me like I got a contagious disease Lost the ability to think, my back against the wall No matter how hard I'll fall,I remain your naive thrall Would've given up everything for some of your affection I just wasn't ready to accept your bitter cold rejection . . . Months have passed but the feeling of failure has last Becoming a loner,building up a tremendous contrast The will to fight is gone for I cannot change my fate The growing hate towards myself for the mess I create Now I lay here in this puddle of blood,filled with pain Take a bit and push it against my skin,cutting my vein Why try to look if there's a reflection I can't stand? Only have myself to blame that things didn't go as planned When I'll confront the mirror,will I be able to see the once so comforting image of the girl I used to be? If you don't understand...don't vote please...the element of the mirror is present throughout the whole thing but if you don't see it, ask me first! DQ |
Blah, here goes nothin'....
*Reflections (The Mirror)* All of a sudden, woke up 7:30, Sweat drippin I can just remember a black hole, an me Slippin So i went too the bathroom, an looked in the mirror All i could see was the reflection of a cold blooded killer I stood in shock, an DisBelief Rubbbed my eyes an then came the Relief It was me all along, just my eyes playin tricks This aint the first time my reflection looked like Convicts I dont know what my minds thinkin, or is it just a Dream? So the next night, i had an Imaginative Scheme.. I would stay up, an try not too Sleep My eyes got so tired i began too Sweep Couldnt keep them open, So i let them Rest Made that Fatal mistake, now i'm Possesed Twitchin in my sleep as i see my Reflection My arms n legs began too Flexion I looked in the mirror, an i saw my Dad He died 10 years ago, so i was Glad i never wanted ta wake up, just stand there n stare Who would of ever thought in 2 days the mirror would be a dream an a nightmare Blah, Topicals aint my strong point, so i just went with the flow..... An mirrors was a hard topic lol Good look DQ, Get 'Em Girl..... Peace! |
Oops, thats suppose ta say Weep, not sweep, my bad, errrr, fuck lol :(
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Now let's get those votes coming... ;)
G'luck to you 2 fam...:love: DQ |
Come on, don't sleep people! Honest votes will be returned for sure...I wanna get some appropriate feedback and fully explained votes on this shit!
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...Uppity up...uppity up...
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Uppity up up....
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^and up it goes!
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Voted For: Drama Queen
This actually was a pretty good topical Drama...u had nice imager...perfect emotion...good detail in the subject...it could have been more thourough and stood out more...but i still could understand wha u were sayin...some topicals do not stay on point and on subject but yours did..Hands down u took this one Dopeman...u had a good drop here...i dont even like u but i must say u almost came away with this one but i had 2 read the verses over twice so i made sure that i was givin a fair vote...u had nice imagery good lil story line..ya vocab could have been better the only thing u were missing was emotion..if u had the emotion down pact then u would of got this one... work on your emotions...jus dont use big words in order 2 fill up a line.,..use words thats decribes on exactly how u are feeling *Nuff Said* |
^Thanks for the fully explained vote, and upping for some more!
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Come on people! Upping for some votes!
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Upping this, once again...come on people, vote!
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