Real You
Here's my first piece here, i hope you like it:
I’m pretty sure I’ve never met a girl like you before Someone that can make me so happy but still upset me more I tore myself to pieces wondering if you’d endure The way you always seem to knock yourself to the floor I’d pour out my heart and soul and go to war Give my mind, my body, my life and even more If just for one day I could finally see you soar Above all others you’re the one I adore But I abhor the way that you always seem to ignore The truth no matter how long it waits outside your door No matter how hard the truth comes knocking It’s shocking how easily you seem to be blocking Out everything except for the mocking Self-esteem dropping and never stopping Swapping heaven for hell, happiness for sobbing It’s left my heart throbbing and my pillow sopping I weep, crying myself to sleep instead of counting sheep Trying not to let the pain seep in too deep Because you see, I can’t help what you’re torture also does to me I can’t explain what you’re love is, will be, and always was to me My heart relies on yours so your pain can be seen in my eyes That’s why it hurts so much to see you believe nothing but lies You’ve devised an unwise way to see yourself with a disguise For some reason you despise everything that reality implies That’s why I want to try to make you rise up to the skies So that every star you see will remind you of how beautiful you are to me And maybe you’ll finally start to see you’re such an important part of me I wish you knew that I see the only thing that matters, I see the real you It hurts to see all the things you do and the torture you put yourself through I wish that for just one day you could see yourself from my view And see that every imperfection you think you have is just not true |
Decent...
Work on emotion |
yeah it was ight but overall quality was 7.0/10
work on ur emotion, step up ur vocab, & put more metaphors in it the next time |
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