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completly retarded
Hook:
this hook's completly retarded that's probably why this is gon' be discarded and disreguarded what makes me think i'm a rapper i shoulda never started (2x) verse: i been doing drugs so much that i got weird grew a beard, disappeared, and reappeared in the land of the feared threw a rave got brave and made the decision to shave i'm like a white slave that likes to misbehave and is one to short of a brain wave i'll rap to the grave and spit shit that people crave even if my dick curves in like a concave 1st time i od'd i flipped, tripped, and came up with this script i'm so ripped i stripped got tipped and got my ass whipped i'm equiped with the ability to encrypt the words of this rap shit the probability is that i have the ability to act with irresponsibility, hostility and using these words with flexability, yeah i do have the capability it's a possibilty, u feel me? if u don't then u could suck me and deep throat til u sound like a goat on coke, so c'mon suck til' u choke an don't tell me you won't grab it til' it cums and gets u soaked, i'm at a loss of words sperm's flocking out like birds that flow in herds so watch me moan, get blown to the bone, cum and produce a clone i jack off the dick on my own hipbone with an unknown women's cologne when i'm alone on the phone, i'm in a danger zone when i'm in the mind of my own cuz all i ever fantasize about is sharon stone, my phrases amazes and blazes on the radio til' people praise this, my pants are baggy and i trip over my shoelaces so let's leave feed and raise this Hook: this hook's completly retarded that's probably why this is gon' be discarded and disreguarded what makes me think i'm a rapper i shoulda never started (2x) |
oh my jesus...nigga dis is dope as hell...10/10 wit no d/r'in involved at all...we gotta throw a remix up...damn i can rap like dat...shit is fuckin out da gate fam...get at me for a remix...4real kid...~1~
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yo get some more feedback goin here
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overall a nice verse, I like them crazy shits going on in your verse.............nice structure and flow. this is some nice shit........... 10/10 this is the best piece I've read in OM so far
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LoL the hook was funny as hell. Lyrically wise, this was mediocre, it was an ok job, if I were you try to put maybe a little more effort into your pieces.
Stay up and give feedback! |
will first things first i wasnt tryin to be too complex on this i just concentrated mostly on my punch lines and that. i was mostly just trying ta make ya'll laugh so try ta ignore the multis thing in this one even though there's still a few in there but concentrate on the rest of it
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let's get some more feed yo
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let's get more feedback
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this is good work & da funny bout is u just put sumthin 2getha out the blue it'z a masterpiece...........lol j/k but naw overall it'z 9.5/10
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lol i did i mostly just do come out with them from the blue some turn out better than others dependin on how many good ideas are flowin in that day and some of them i just write down on anything i can write on and just put it togetha when i get to making an open mic thanx for the feed yo...and keep an eye out for Completely Retarded Pt. 2 Feat. Dolla-Bill. i'll try ta make it just as good if not better
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yo it mighta been a while back but i need people ta read it cuz i think it's one of my best but it's not in the open mic, check out retorical insights and look in february's my verse will be in there and in my opinoin it's one of the craziest but since it's in there it doesn't get much attention and when it does nobody could leave feedback so tell me what u think whether u leave the feedback here or in a private message cuz i'm curious ta see what ya'll think
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yo c'mon people get more feedback this a lil older now but still one of the best let's get some more feed
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hah!!!...this shit was nice....I cant give a garde on this cuz its retarted...mayne you could put this on a nice track next ta EM....nice punchez an good topic...best line..."i'm so ripped i stripped got tipped and got my ass whipped
i'm equiped with the ability to encrypt the words of this rap shit" nice....the structure was hard ta see at first took a second reading ta get tha flow of thingz...but nice pimpin!!! |
ha it's supposed ta be retarded just ta make ya laugh yo i'm makin a second one to this at the same time i'm postin this i'm still workin on the 1st verse but so far i think it's gonna be just as good i got some shit in there that makes me laugh at my own shit...cool, lets keep the feed flowin people
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