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mizz fyre and countree jay- soldiers pain
mizz fyre....
a mother, tears flowing, eyes to the sky, saying for others mistakes my son shouldn't be the one paying caught up in a world of violence, just seventeen picture the scene, boys thinner than the pages in a magazine 2 months, unaccounted for, trying to survive, fighting television, 24/7, still there's not been one sighting mothers face in her hands, no news again she's distraught son starving it seems heaven might be closer than once thought with chances slim, he still made his mind up in a hurry daren't tell everything, knew that his fam were likely to worry presidential issues mean nothing to the situation they're facing thinking of home, is the only thing that can keep their mind racing countree jay.... Heroically and Stoically, they got through society, showin' no pain, He signed up to get ahead in life, On the fishing boat; with no net gain. And they had told him they were proud that first day in his uniform, Setting off to grab life by it's imaginary horns, like a it was a unicorn. the taste of 911 stirred their hearts, now the bitter drink had them shaked up, Had closed there eyes to have an american dream, now wanna wake up, They knew what might be the end from the begining, but shunned reality, The worst thing they used to have to count on in those days were calories. My how the tables have turned, it's evident the times have changed, Momma could only recognize him by the name on the ovals on the chains. They had support their country at first, but now hated these war games, When the folded flag was brought, they immediately drowned it in flames. (feed.....) |
no feed?.......
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yeah i liked this one yall, this was a good ass collab, some feeling was put into this, it wasnt hard to undersrtand what this was about either,
i give it a 8/10 keep them coming |
dis is it...i dont really know what to say...yall laid it down 4real...8/10...i felt tha emotion...glad to see dat i aint tha only one writtin emotional pieces...yall keep dis up...return tha fava in minez 2...dont worry bout tha first link jus check out tha one bout my son...yall should feel it...stay up
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mizz fyre....,uve step up ya game nice verse 7/10.....
favorite line ''mothers face in her hands, no news again she's distraught son starving it seems heaven might be closer than once thought'' nice ending to that line.....i felt ur magazine line was forced....but overall it was nice... countree jay 6/10 not as good...good vocab at the begging but it feel off at the end.... both: nice i deas and concepts....good collab overall......\/\/ plz return favor |
this was a good collab it waz good emotion in here work on vocab doe it still sounds hot do nothin really to improve on good drop and keep droppin
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^^^thanx ya'll.....up
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nice lyricism. i liked the collab, you two work well together. stay up.
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^^^^thanx uppin
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i really like dis drop...dat emotion behind it was raw...it felt good to see something like this..
i liked how when fire stopped with the whole kinda story thing den jay picked up right with it...most om's you see the 2 people talk about different stuff...but you two stayed right on topic...this was a good peice...lookin forward to seein something else like this from yall.........PLEASE RETURN THE FEED BELOW http://community.rapverse.com/showt...06&page=1&pp=15 |
this was a good piece right here...
mizz rhyme scheme was good on your verse...content was deep and felt... presidential issues mean nothing to the situation they're facing thinking of home, is the only thing that can keep their mind racing ^^^that line stuck out to me jay...you had a good verse too nice metas..content was felt as well....flow was coo... i really enjoyed this piece right here...makes me wanna find one of my old text joints and post it...lol...maybe i will...anyway keep it up return the feedback http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=178661 |
respect my gangsta and shit. :thumbup:
-CJ- |
werdage werdage werdage...definetly feelin' this piece right here jo...
CountrEE Jay you got nyce vocab but you should use more internal rhyme when you're doing bars that long kyd...you got nyce vocab but it's like if you were on staGe and you had dope lyrics and didn't know how to perform them...you write well but you lack finese when you do it, more INternal rhyme would help you a lot...still a good job was done by you on this, definetly keep it up... Mz Fyre, no flaws except that magaZine line (as smeone else mentioned) you had nyce internal rhyme with shorter bars which helped yours flow a lot better, and that helped draw the emotions out better, you definetly shined on this one, keep it up kyd... hit my jawn "Picture Perfect" up in here... |
this was a good collab miz fyre u came thru real hard on this 1 i'll give ur part 6.5/10
& marvjay u came good on this joint also i would give u a 2.5/10 altogether it'z a 9.0/10 great job ya'll |
Dope shit. Emotion was good. IMaginary was good. FLow'd good. Countree man i never see you do somthing like this, nice imaginary show more emotion next time. This a 8/10 rating werdness.
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