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Picture Perfect...
this was originally a Round2 post for a poetry tourney but muh FUCKahs thought it was more "rap" than "poetry" so I figured I'd show ya'll what it iz that I do so ya'll don't under-estimate me just cuz I don't be makin' drops often...
Topic: You stare into your reflection upon a picture frame and realize you're not who you used to be With this image in my hand, I'm eyeing my less than picture perfect stance Taking in what I see, intently observing with more than a passing glance Nostalgic thoughts invade my mind and not by mere chance Thinking of the past thoughts of my advance; looking at my "then" self perception Suddenly I begin to realize, the person I've become was not at all my intention… Yet and still, I am who I am, and for that there's no possibility of prevention Need I remember the facts?…in my head, deeds good and bad counteract Like links in a chain, one after the other they react, but the movements can't retract The strong will that I've lacked and selfish ways that I act..."is this really where I'm at?" Harsh words of profanity, the change in me has others suspecting insanity Losing humility and almost my very humanity, the cause is easily my vanity As I've now come to see, my attitude resembled that of debris, I agree Each statement I made was to be taken as "royal decree" and MY WAY should be a guarantee But back then the innocence of youth was upon me; life itself hadn't yet tainted me… Now I'm going through the motions, but not emotions in life and I've yet to truly achieve… Looking back at "self" and tears are all I receive, it's hard to believe Am I really even me?…but who else can I be but my shameful, doubting self? The one who only cares about self…back then my life was about pleasing everyone else Now it's the opposite extreme…temperature's rising, tears no longer hiding Surprising are the emotions riding, the notion is more than surprising… That my thoughts of this image are all I find to confide in replied to: RV's State Of Mind by: MadProphet Chinese Food----------! by: Class.Sic |
^^ Ye yo, thats some good shit. More emotion though. Put some decent meta'z in there also.
O yeah i want to tell you, that collar poppin shit in your sig..........I'd print it, x-larged it, now i'm gonna iron it on my t-shirt............... werd! |
read the intro dummy :p...and haha, werd...I should put it on something huh, lol...
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Done ironing onto my t-shirt. I wish i can take a picture and show it to you. Shit is fucking dope, i got it in the back of my shirt............... *pops collar* |
yea shit is cool. they might be right bout it being more rap. shit was a nice drop overall. i cant put my hand on what this shit remind me of though. if i remember it i'll let you know. matter of fact i know what it is. you said you wrote this as poetry but it's more of a topical. which made it a good open mic... nice drop. 8.5/10
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so I see that I gotta find someone's nuts to hug to catch a damn reply I don't solicit -smh-...
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Feeling this drop for sure...
Am I really even me?…but who else can I be but my shameful, doubting self? The one who only cares about self…back then my life was about pleasing everyone else ^definately liked those lines Love how you managed to portray the confusion, vocab was at a high level and yet it was easy to read and follow. The emotion was good, flow was nice (it was improved by the internal rhyming). Nice piece girl! Keep it up! DQ |
nice emotion...flow i lost in a few places probably coz some of the bars were real long....but good usage of vocab...keep doing it.....8/10
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