mad at the world
 

man im tiered of being mad for nothin
i work hard at keepin a gob till i get fiered for saying something
if i could forsee a future that isnt fuckin fake
it ed be easyer for me to agree that what im tryin so hard not to be is
another eminem wannabe
im just another white boy spittin on tha mic
i never realy knew my mother cuz she left me behind that night
her an my fuckin father got into a terrible fight
12years later i still cant find her something aint right...

ya know one day i dreamed of being happy, thought i
figured out my life, but what did it mean to me when its like tha whole world's laughten at me.........
i feel like im at tha point where im a snap an i dont no whats gonna happen
i wanna take you back to pin point tha tragity in my life that got me rappen
my bad side i aint sappose ta show it
im a growin dad now so i aint about ta blow it...
i memorize my lines so others dont think i re wrote it
in my eye's ya can see inside me theres a bomb that just exploded
its like tha whole world in my pawm but blowded
will i ever have any control over my emotion's only god know's it
ha ha ha ya right................lifes a fuckin joke

gun's never solved shit an if i did then why do i see it in tha hands of a twelve year old kid
some were along tha line they made a mistake
do they not see what there doin wrong mabey when a loved one dies
they ill understand there too late.................

more war an controversy to convince a jury tha deffendent is convicted
of a felony offense, ta tryin get tha courage to keep there credibility
in tha present tence..................... :shoot:
thay tryin cope with there life behind bars
what are they hiding behind that left them mentaly an emotionly scared....
i bit tha bullet benifit from it

ya might think im full of it but thats why i love it
ta think you realy got what it takes ta fill tha shoes of some one else
an be placed amustinked one of them greats...../CB83 :gfy:

this was a nice piece 2 u have good vocab, u need 2 work on ur structure more, u got ight wordplay u got sum multis, & metas overall i've give it 7.5/10 only cuz u need 2 elevate in ur rhymes lil bit more & u'll b at ur potential

thanks man appreciate tha feed
helps sometimes ta hear an opinon
so ya can change it up for tha next drop
holla..............CB83

ya ya pretty good man,nice drop,your elevating alot,want more tips? take a beat and writt while your listening to it,so the flow could be on point :thumbup:,someone fucking with you,theyll be fuckin with me
peace

decent stuff, i'll brake it down better in our crew forum later on, not much time before i leave so just improve your structure, an work on syllabels an makin ya verse flow better, an i'll break the rest down later on tonight in our crew forum