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-   -   Shooting Star (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=178889)

staticthemicaddi 02-25-05 07:56 AM

Shooting Star
 
I sit awake and gaze at the sky with nothing better to do,
I see a shooting star fly by, It makes me think of you,
Free as a bird as it makes it's own path, With no one to tell it "no",
But shooting stars don't ever last, It's starting to lose it's glow,
I squint my eyes to see it clear, it starts to fade for good,
If I could rekindle this shooting star my heart tells me that I would,
But the star has faded out of sight, I guess it got too far,
So I turn my gaze back to the night.... To find another star.

A_M_H 02-28-05 11:56 AM

it'z str8 u need 2 structure this betta, but overall it was 8.5/10 u got sum good spots in & out of diz poem keep workin' at it u'll have it down pat

fluidmoon 02-28-05 12:33 PM

aww, i liked this a lot, cute, but short....and to the point, it had a nice rhythm to it as i read it, good words also, nice job, keep dropping.1


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