RapVerse.com Community - A Life Wasted.. True Story!

Feedback: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?p=1997460

A little long but a good piece keyed up once again

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Derek was six when i first met him, I was boys with his brother
We were best friends, And neighbors as we both grew together
Throughout the years, through some peers we soon diverged our paths
Call it a crowd, or just age that made our friendship collapse
While i was doing petty crimes, to embellish the times
Derek was in his grimy prime, Frontin hard just for shine
Hangin with older dudes, fooled by the luster of jewels
Props and confused visions of school were dissmissed with abuse
I stood amused, because this kid is a true softie at heart
His mind was screwed, "do you wanna be a corpse on the block"?
Remorse and shock, forced his plots, love lost for others
Too bad his pops had enough and sent his ass to the forces
Cadet training, disciplined to complete some mild courses
Meanwhile, the fam went thru some births, trials and divorces
When he returned he adjourned with a new lease on life
Or so it seemed, that his scheme's were no longer so trife
But he was weened, on the dreams, he blundered with might
So he found means as a fiend who would plunder with spite
But then one night, gun on his side, drinkin hen on the rocks
Meanwhile the spot, a dank bar with some chickens thats hot
Biggie was playing, another chance a kid stepped in the spot
Derek had beef, dating back like 3 years on the block
"Yo, one more shot", Dude took a seat right at the bar
Whispering sparked, "This bitch derek looks like a retard"
Vision was off, stumbling, mumbling, words pissin dude off
Showin his piece like "Bitch you bout to take a big loss"
No real intent on using the 45, just wanted to vent
Staggered back, took a drink, another shot filled with hen
Bartender vexed, fight ensues, Bouncer says "It's out for you"
But Derek's pissed and drunk, while shoutin fragmented views
Derek turns red, boys is ampin, stead of usin some sense
Innebriated, withdraws the gun once concealed by his leg
Nothing was said, Derek pulled the trigger grinnin and shit
Then caught a glimpse of the kids brains on the cement
Blood leadkin fast, as his boys left the scene in a flash
5-0 circled the corner while Dereks’s Hen shot snuck up
he tried to run, across the street, got cut off by a truck
A cop chased him, So Derek stopped and pulled the gun
The kids wasted but face it, the cop shot and he's done
Derek wasted away his life, over some beef from the past
Not knowing, thirty minutes later, that breath was his last

R.I.P Derek Williams
1980 - 2004

Feedback Please.. i know its kinda long and some shit dont make sense unless u was there but let me know anyways....