Watching Life Slip away
 

I wouldn’t know were to begin
I don’t see why people would really care,
they’d just stop stand and stare
they walk around in there everyday lives
not thinking about people who have to put up a fight

I need to find a escape from this place
feel loved and needed held tight in someone’s embrace
the love I once felt for another
died when I lost them
as I held my baby in my arms
felt new you no. The proud mum

after that’s second the worst was still to come
letting go of my babies hand
watching him slip away
was like watching writing fade away in the sand
This is the hardest goodbye id ever have to make
Don’t worry Connor mummy’s coming, just a little late

laying my baby down to sleep
I felt my heart break and I started to weep

I lay there alone looking to your cot
knowing you should be there, but Connor your not
don’t worry baby mummy will never forget
the way she felt on the day we first met!

i like this alot you write how i write... very nice.. ppl will prolly bitch bout ur structure and shit but i like this drop.. honesty in a drop is key.. and you have alot here... check out some of my stuff some time.. o yea where is runcorn?.. i have alot of friends in earls terrace.. o yea keep dropp'n

hey runcorns about 20 miles out side liverpool

sweetness hey stay active on the site we could use more poets...u like the killers?

yeah there not 2 bad...

I need to find a escape from this place
feel loved and needed held tight in someone’s embrace
the love I once felt for another
died when I lost them
as I held my baby in my arms
felt new you no. The proud mum
^Loving this part

Strongest aspect of your piece is the emotion, so pure and raw, like you spit it straight from the core based on own life experience. You picture it with such a sense of reality that it's easy for people to relate to. Found a good balance with your vocab, not too basic but not too complex either. Your structure creates a bit of confusion which I liked in fact. Keep on dropping girl and please return the favor on one of my poems. Thanks! Europe represents :thumbup:

DQ